Hai să râdem!

[nike]

Va place Maraciuca ? Producatorii de droguri legale contraataca

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOY7bgqXrH4

 

degeaba, romanu n-a inteles ca drogurile nu sunt pentru toata lumea !

Editat Martie 29, 2010 de ZaiR

[baiatu_tony]

In cele ce urmeaza veti citi o scrisoare adresata de Suca lui Nea

Marin. Mai bine zis se vrea a fi o telegrama:

 

"Nea Marin, nevasta-mea este foarte suparata ca ai pu-

tut sa ne vorbesti de rau pe toti de la mic

la mare si te-ai enervat de i-ai rupt lin-

jeria de pe franghie, devenind astfel ri-

dicul. Nu are rost sa ne certam pentru o pi-

catura de pamant si asa foarte putin, bra-

zda nenorocita de care ne folosim amandoi.

Suca"

 

Asta e telegrama. Suca neavand destui bani a hotarat sa trimita un

rand da si unul nu. Deci acum cititi cu rabdare incepand cu primul

rand, al doilea il sariti si treceti direct la al treilea si tot

asa, deci un rand da si unul nu. Succes!!!

[q_simi]

In Mozambic exista un fruct de culoare galbena foarte aromatizat si placut la gust cunoscut sub numele de Amarula. Oamenii il folosesc la confectionarea bauturilor alcoolice. Fructele pot fi mancate numai cand sunt foarte bine coapte. In compozitia lor contin cca 17% alcool, dar cand deja sunt prea coapte si cad singure din copac fermenteaza, iar continutul de alcool este si mai mare. Toate animalele din zona apropiata copacilor plini de amarule sunt ametite de la acoolul continut de fructe.

 

Priviti filmuletul :

 

[grumpy]

[mihai_2b3]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfIgSu-qysE

http://www.mrworld.tv/contestant/showcontestant/romania/

[vintze]

Turma de bivoli se deplaseaza intotdeauna cu viteza celui mai incet bivol din turma. Cand turma este vanata,de obicei este ucis cel mai slab si mai din urma bivol.Aceasta selectie naturala este benefica turmei ca intreg, pentru ca astfel, prin eliminarea celor mai slabi membri, se imbunatatesc viteza si sanatatea turmei.

 

Cam in acelasi mod, creierul uman poate opera doar atat de repede cat ii permite cea mai slaba celula.Consumul de alcool, dupa cum se stie, omoara celulele creierului, dar in mod normal prima data omoara celulele cele mai slabe.. In acest mod, consumul regulat de bere distruge cele mai slabe celule cerebrale, facand creierul o masina mult mai rapida si mai eficienta. Acesta este si motivul pentru care , intotdeauna te simti mai destept dupa cateva beri.

[uzunu]

A plane fell in the pacific two hours ago. The pilot was having sex and the auto-pilot went on manual.

[iony]

super tare http://myamazingfact.blogspot.com/2010/03/...bage-truck.html

[Gova]

Ciobanu' tot cioban:

 

http://www.antena1.ro/sport/fotbal-intern/...wpt-102642.html

[Ioana Suzuki]

asigura-te mai intai ca nu el e persoana in cauza!

 

Am vorbit cu colegul si reclamatia e absolut reala! Mai mult, doamna in cauza e medicul lui de familie

 

Btw, e disponibila, ca a divortat de respectivul nea Fanel intre timp!!

Editat Martie 30, 2010 de Ioana Suzuki

[@jinx]

...saracul nea fanel!!

 

ps: pune si tu o poza!

Editat Martie 30, 2010 de @jinx

[Sherbann]

Ciobanu' tot cioban:

 

http://www.antena1.ro/sport/fotbal-intern/...wpt-102642.html

 

Asta nu e 'fun', e tragic. Mi-e sila.

[Vizitator CristiBoroi]

http://webdesignledger.com/inspiration/30-...-make-you-laugh

[Pupila Dilatata]

[Kassu]

Ajutati un om sarman...

[PainRedefined]

Editat Martie 30, 2010 de PainRedefined

[mihai_2b3]

I. Care este deosebirea intre porumbel si cocosel ?

R. Porumbelul este pasarica pacii, iar cocoselul este pacea pasaricii.

[q_simi]

interesant http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romanian_profanity

[Razorbladed]

[Spaima Ursuletilor de Plus]

interesant http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romanian_profanity

 

 

a da cu mobra-n gâÂşte: to have intercourse (literally meaning "to run the mobra into the geese") - (mobra-type of motor bicycle - used as a synonym for p.u.l.a)

 

 

:lool

[Grigu]

Un tip ii povesteste amicului cel mai bun:

> - Bai, ce lux avea in casa ala care a dat petrecerea de

> aseara.

> - Ce lux, nene?

> - Bai, si buda era de aur!!!

> - Du-te d-acilea! N-are cum!

> Pleaca impreuna la resedinta unde fusese

> "dezmatul" cu o seara inainte.Raspunde la usa

> sotia proprietarului:

> - Sarut mana, doamna!

> - Buna ziua!

> - Stiti, eu am fost la petrecerea dvs. de aseara si i-am

> povestit amicului ca aveti si buda din aur, iar el nu ma

> crede. Ne lasati un pic inauntru ca sa-i demonstrez?

> Se aude vocea sotului:

> - Cine-i, draga?

> - A, niste amici de-ai tai, raspunde sotia. Dar vino

> incoace sa afli si tu cine ti s-a cacao in trombon...

[Vizitator Haywood Yablomme]

http://www.220.ro/accident/Accident-De-Fat...tia/EYTXoIPwlO/

[puskyboy]

Cateva (mai multe) citate in engleza cu si despre motoare

 

Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul.

 

“200mph, no hands. Damn that’d be cool right before the part where you die.” – A. Duthie

 

“There are only three sports: mountain climbing, bull fighting, and motor racing. All the rest are merely games.” – Ernest Hemingway

 

“Calling upon my years of experience, I froze at the controls.” – Stirling Moss

 

“Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle.”

 

Seen on a motorcycle’s rearviews:“Warning: objects seen in mirror are disappearing rapidly”

 

Got a $5 head? Get a $5 helmet.

 

“There’s the V-4 thing: there’s just something about it that inline 4s don’t have, and V-twins have too much of.” – Murray Duncan

 

“Life may begin at 30, but it doesn’t get real interesting until about 150.”

 

If you’re going to lead, then lead. If you’re going to follow, get the hell out of my way!

 

“Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death...” – Hunter Thompson

 

“Keep thy eye on the tach, thine ears on the engine, least thy whirlybits seek communion with the sun” – John 4:50

 

“You start the game with a full pot o’ luck and an empty pot o’ experience... The object is to fill the pot of experience before you empty the pot of luck.”

 

“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece, but to skid across the line broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out, leaking oil, shouting GERONIMO!”

 

“Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don’t have the balls to live in the real world.” – Mary Shafer, NASA Ames Dryden

 

“I believe in treating everyone with respect, but, first you have to get their attention.”

 

“Never trade the thrills of living for the security of existence”.

 

Everyone knows Honda’s attitude in the GP Paddock! “ Who will be behind us this weekend? “

 

“A zest for living must include a willingness to die.” – R.A. Heinlein

 

If you think you don’t need a helmet, you probably don’t.

 

“Racing is living, everything else is just waiting”

 

“If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.”– Larry McMurty

 

“Why are motorcycle dealers closed on Sundays? Because Sunday is for worship... Catholics go to church, Motorcyclists go to the track.” – Justin Skalka

 

I want to leave this world the same way I came into it: Screaming and covered in blood.

 

Kansas: home of the highway with 318 miles and 11 curves.

 

What does a Harley and hound dog have in common ? They both spend most of their time in the back of a pickup truck. What differentiates the two ? The hound dog can get in and out of the pickup under his own power.

 

“98% of all Harleys ever sold are still on the road. The other 2% made it home.”

 

Midnight bugs taste best.

 

Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they CAN hold everything you need.

 

NEVER argue with a woman holding a torque wrench.

 

Never try to race an old geezer, he may have one more gear than you.

 

Home is where your bike sits still long enough to leave a few drops of oil on the ground.

 

Routine maintenance should never be neglected.

 

It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed. The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rearview mirror.

 

Never be afraid to slow down.

 

Bikes don’t leak oil, they mark their territory.

 

Don’t ride so late into the night that you sleep through the sunrise.

 

Pie and coffee are as important as petrol.

 

Sometimes it takes a whole tankful of fuel before you can think straight.

 

If you want to get a job, you may have to compromise your principals (you may even have to shave).

 

Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you’ll ride alone.

 

Never hesitate to ride past the last street light at the edge of town.

 

Never mistake horsepower for staying power.

 

A good rider has balance, judgment, and good timing. So does a good lover.

 

A cold hamburger can be reheated quite nicely by strapping it to an exhaust pipe and riding forty miles.

 

Never do less than forty miles before breakfast.

 

If you don’t ride in the rain, you don’t ride.

 

A bike on the road is worth two in the shed.

 

Respect the person who has seen the dark side of motorcycling and lived.

 

Young riders pick a destination and go... Old riders pick a direction and go.

 

A good mechanic will let you watch without charging you for it.

 

Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night.

 

Always back your bike into the curb, and sit where you can see it.

 

Work to ride & ride to work.

 

Whatever it is, it’s better in the wind.

 

Two-lane blacktop isn’t a highway – it’s an attitude.

 

When you look down the road, it seems to never end – but you better believe it does.

 

A biker can smell a party 500 miles away.

 

Winter is Nature’s way of telling you to polish.

 

A motorcycle can’t sing on the streets of a city.

 

Keep your bike in good repair: Motorcycle boots are NOT comfortable for walking.

 

People are like Motorcycles: each is customized a bit differently.

 

If the bike isn’t braking properly, you don’t start by rebuilding the engine.

 

Remember to pay as much attention to your partner as you do your carburetor.

 

Sometimes the best communication happens when you’re on separate bikes.

 

Well-trained reflexes are quicker than luck.

 

Good coffee should be indistinguishable from 50 weight motor oil.

 

The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome.

 

Learn to do counter-intuitive things that may someday save your butt.

 

The twisties – not the superslabs –separate the riders from the squids.

 

When you’re riding lead, don’t spit.

 

If you really want to know what’s going on, watch what’s happening at least five cars ahead.

 

Don’t make a reputation you’ll have to live down or run away from later.

 

If the person in the next lane at the stoplight rolls up the window and locks the door, support their view of life by snarling at them.

 

A friend is someone who’ll get out of bed at 2 am to drive his pickup to the middle of nowhere to get you when you’re broken down.

 

If she changes her oil more than she changes her mind follow her.

 

Catching a yellow jacket in your shirt @ 70 mph can double your vocabulary.

 

If you want to get somewhere before sundown, you can’t stop at every tavern.

 

There’s something ugly about a NEW bike on a trailer.

 

Don’t lead the pack if you don’t know where you’re going.

 

Sleep with one arm through the spokes and keep your pants on.

 

Practice wrenching on your own bike.

 

Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don’t. Some can’t.

 

Beware the rider who says the bike never breaks down.

 

2 bikes is useful because at least one can be raided for parts at any given time.

 

Don’t argue with an 18-wheeler.

 

Never be ashamed to unlearn an old habit.

 

Maintenance is as much art as it is science.

 

A good long ride can clear your mind, restore your faith, and use up a lot of fuel.

 

If you can’t get it going with bungee cords and electrician’s tape, it’s serious.

 

If you ride like there’s no tomorrow, there won’t be.

 

Bikes parked out front mean good chicken-fried steak inside.

 

Gray-haired riders don’t get that way from pure luck.

 

There are drunk riders. There are old riders. There are NO old, drunk riders.

 

Thin leather looks good in the bar, but it won’t save your butt from “road rash” if you go down.

 

The best modifications cannot be seen from the outside.

 

Always replace the cheapest parts first.

 

You can forget what you do for a living when your knees are in the breeze.

 

No matter what marquee you ride, it’s all the same wind.

 

Patience is the ability to keep your motor idling.

 

Only a Biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window.

[Kassu]

Bernard

[ITS]