Ioana Suzuki

http://www.epicfail.com/2011/08/25/engine-rev-fail/ Epic Engine Fail

text WIN!

Cum sa reusesti in viata - pentru fete: http://cocalari.com/2011/07/cum-sa-episodul-17-2/#more-24260

Epoca post-basesciana Într-una din zilele însorite ale lui Iulie 2015 un bătrân se apropie de intrarea în Palatul Cotroceni. Se apropie de ofițerul de garda Âşi îi spune: - As vrea să intru sa vorbesc cu preÂşedintele Băsescu. Ofițerul îl priveÂşte blând pe bătrân Âşi îi spune: - Domnule, Băsescu nu mai este preÂşedinte Âşi deci nu mai are reÂşedința aici. Bătrânul îi spune că e în regulă Âşi se îndepărtează încet de intrarea în Palat. A doua zi acelaÂşi bătrân se îndreaptă către intrarea în Palatul Cotroceni Âşi se adresează aceluiaÂşi ofițer de gardă : - As vrea să intru sa vorbesc cu preÂşedintele Băsescu. - Domnule, aÂşa cum v-am spus Âşi ieri, Băsescu nu mai este preÂşedinte Âşi deci nu mai are reÂşedința aici. Bătrânul îi mulțumeÂşte Âşi pleacă încet spre locuința sa. A treia zi bătrânul se duce din nou la intrarea în palatul Cotroceni Âşi se adresează aceluiaÂşi ofițer: - As vrea sa intru sa vorbesc cu preÂşedintele Băsescu. Iritat, ofițerul se încruntă uÂşor la bătrân Âşi îi spune: - Domnule este a treia zi consecutivă când veniți aici Âşi cereți sa vorbiți cu Băsescu. V-am spus deja că Băsescu nu mai este preÂşedinte Âşi deci nu mai are reÂşedința aici. Nu înțelegeți? - Ba înțeleg foarte bine, însă nu mă mai satur să aud asta. Ofițerul ia poziția de drepți, îl salută respectuos ca pe un general Âşi îi spune bătrânului: - Atunci ne vedem mâine, domnule!

A fost o dată un evreu înțelept.. ÂŞi zicea el că totul se poate reduce la ce ai în cap. Îl chema Solomon. După el, a venit un alt evreu înțelept. ÂŞi zicea el că totul se poate reduce la ce ai în inimă. Îl chema Isus. După el, a venit un al treilea evreu înțelept. ÂŞi zicea el că totul se poate reduce la ce ai în stomac. Îl chema Marx. După el, a venit un al patrulea evreu înțelept Âşi a zis că totul se poate reduce la ce ai între picioare. Îl chema Freud. La sfârÂşit, a venit un alt evreu, mai înțelept decât toți (pe nume Einstein), Âşi a zis: "Totul e relativ" *********************** Ion si Vasile. - Vasile, am fost in Turcia la all inclusive, exceptional: mananci cat vrei, bei cat vrei, cu bar la piscina, lux mare. Da' sa vezi ce faza patesc: ma duc intr-o dimineata la micul dejun, Maria mea ramane in camera. Cand ma intorc, ia-o pe Maria de unde nu-i. O caut peste tot, ma panichez, ma duc la receptie si aflu ca e in camera la Antonio Banderas. Ma duc acolo, bat la usa, deschide Antonio. Antonio, barbat bine: inalt, frumos, plin de muschi, brunet, ochi albastri, fara pic de burta. Cand colo, iese Maria mea dezbracata din baie! Cu tatzele vai mama ei, curu lasat, cearcane ....... ba, mi-a fost o rusine de omul ala ...

Justitia isi va face datoria, deci cu sanse 99% sa nu faca o zi de puscarie. Din experienta vorbesc, un pusti FARA permis a omorat pe cineva si a ranit inca doua persoane intr-o masina FARA itp-ul facut. Dupa doi ani de proces, a avut suspendare. Deci: fata cu permis, doar o persoana omorata, suspendare. Este asta justitie? Odihneste-te in pace, Radu.

Funny Motorcycling Quotes 98% of all Harleys ever sold are still on the road. The other 2% made it home. Anonymous I'd rather be riding my motorcycle thinking about God than sitting in church thinking about my motorcycle. Anonymous I believe many Harley guys spend more time revving their engines than actually driving anywhere; I sometimes wonder why they bother to have wheels on their motorcycles. Dave Barry Funny racing quotes * Aerodynamics are for people who cannot build engines. (Enzo Ferrari) * All I had to do is keep turning left! (George Robson - Winner of the 1946 Indy 500) * Anyone can drive a fast car, few can drive a car fast. * Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports... all the others are games. (Jim Dietz) * Calling upon my years of experience, I froze at the controls. (Stirling Moss) * The cost of racing hasn't increased in 30 years. Back then, it took everything you had. And it still does. * Fast cars drag race, fast drivers road race. * Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death... (Hunter Thompson) * Friends don't let friends apex early. * Horsepower has this tendency to break things. If you're not breaking anything you're not going fast enough. * I always ask God for blessings of protection on that person in the car, for blessings of protection on the crew as they're attending to the car on pit road. And I always ask for peace of mind for the wife. (Dale Beaver - NASCAR chaplain) * I don't know driving in another way which isn't risky. Each one has to improve himself. Each driver has its limit. My limit is a little bit further than other's. (Ayrton Senna) * I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. * I feel safe when I'm on the racetrack, I really do. I know that I'm surrounded by the best drivers in the world. That's something you can't say when you're driving down the interstate. (Sterling Marlin) * I feel safer on a racetrack than I do on Houston's freeways. (A. J. Foyt) * I live my life a quarter mile at a time. * I was doing fine until about mid-corner when I ran out of talent. * If I had all the money I'd spent on cars...I'd spend it all on cars. * If you can't run with the big dogs, Stay on the porch * If you're going to lead, then lead. If you're going to follow, get the hell out of my way! * In the old days drivers were fat and tires were skinny. * It has been said that motor racing shares in common with sex the distinction of being one of the most popular, most maligned and least understood of human activities. * It is amazing how may drivers, even at the Formula One Level, think that the brakes are for slowing the car down. (Mario Andretti) * It is not always possible to be the best, but it is always possible to improve your own performance. (Jackie Stewart) * It's basically the same, just darker. (Alan Kulwicki - on racing Saturday nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons) * Life may begin at 30, but it doesn't get real interesting until about 150. * Never drive faster then your guardian angel can fly. * Never run out of real estate, traction and ideas at the same time. * The number of laps remaining is always one more than the amount of fuel left in the car. * The number of times you get hit in a pileup is directly proportional to the number of times you said "I think it will go ok today". * The older I get, the faster I was. * On the other side of fear there is freedom! * Once you've raced, you never forget it...and you never get over it. (Richard Childress) * Oversteer is when your ass hits the wall, Understeer is when your face hits the wall! * Oversteer scares passengers, understeer scares drivers. * A part never breaks during a test session, only during a race. And the part you need will be the one you left at the shop. * The price for men in motion is the occasional collision... (Carroll Smith) * Race car drivers love the fast lane. * Race cars are neither beautiful nor ugly. They become beautiful when they win. (Enzo Ferrari) * Racing is living, everything else is just waiting. * Racing is the process of turning money into noise. * Racing's less of a sport these days than a commercial break doing 150 mph. (Peter Dunne) * The shortest way between two points is a straight line...what's the fun in that? * Straights are for fast cars. Turns are for fast drivers. * A 10-car pileup never happens behind you! * There's no secret. You just press the accelerator to the floor and steer left. (Bill Vukovich) * To achieve anything in this game you must be prepare to dabble in the boundary of disaster. (Sterling Moss) * To finish first, first you have to finish * What sets these - and all - racers apart from less daredevilish mortals is their complete lack of fear and their joy of doing something on the edge. They love to speed because it is dangerous. (Peter Golenback) * What's behind you doesn't matter. (Enzo Ferrari) * When I look fast, I'm not smooth and I am going slowly. And when I look slow, I am smooth and going fast. (Alain Prost) * When you win a race your on top that day, so take it for what its worth, have a good time and party, cause the next day when you get out of bed, the meter goes back to zero again. (Bobby Allison) * Winners win races. Champions make it look easy. * Wrecks are going to happen in this business, that's just a risk of the sport. If you can't keep from worrying about it, then you're in the wrong line of work. (Coo Coo Marlin) * You will never know the feeling of a driver when winning a race. The helmet hides feelings that cannot be understood. (Ayrton Senna) * You win some, you lose some, you wreck some. (Dale Earnhardt)* 1. Don't brake until you see God, just don't meet him 2. Winning by 1/2", is still winning 3. Its more fun to have more horsepower then talent 4. If I caught you, you are slower 5. And I quote this months car Craft "unlike car racing, golf, football, and soccer only require one ball"* 6. If Americans were real racers, they would race DOWN Pikes Peak* #3 Buddy Baker speaking of an ill-handling Cup car at Darlington when TNN did the race:*"I wouldn't get outta' the electric chair to drive that thing".* #2 Kyle Petty describing Bobby Hillen's point of view after Hillen creamed him during a minor spin-out at Talladega:*"Here comes that blind boy again". #1 Felix Sabates talking about fast race cars(and you have to apply your best Cuban accent when you're reading this):*"If money is what makes these cars fast, my cars otta be going 400 miles an hour!".* Typical saying for a squid at a local circle track - "He hit everything but the snackbar" Buddy Baker - Bustin' a timin' chain is like throwin' a brick at a clock Buddy Baker - Passin' Earnhardt is like trying to take a bone out of a Pit Bulls mouth* "If you can leave two black stripes from the exit of one corner to the braking zone of the next, you finally enough horsepower". Mark Donohue "You don't have to help, just don't get in the way!" JP "Anyone can drive a perfect racecar, it takes a REAL man to drive this shitbox" Captain Wally "This is a logistical nightmare" Bruce MacInnes "I never lost it, I just ran outta room to save it...." "Parts don't break. We break them" - Carroll Smith "Mr. Bentley - He builds fast trucks." - E. Bugatti "It was very fast in a certain kind of turn. Unfortunately, none of the tracks had that kind of turn."* "Turbochargers are for people who can't build engines."---Keith Duckworth, Cosworth Engines "The guys that are winning are the guys standing on the biggest pile of parts!" Carrol Smith "Why worry about death, it'll come sooner or later." Jim Dunn Never trade the thrills of living for the security of existence.* If you think you don’t need a helmet, you probably don’t.* If you wait, all that happens is you get older. If you can’t get it going with bungee cords and electrician’s tape, it’s serious.* Only a Biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window.* Never run out of real estate, traction and ideas at the same time.

Pofta buna!

http://www.resursadefun.ro/cateodata-curajul-nu-difera-mult-de-prostie.htm

Cum e criza, sa va dau o idee de facut bani. Cine reuseste sa anunte si aici, va rog! *** Bebe foarte dulce. Voi ce faceti cand vi se ia berea din fata? http://www.epicfail.com/2011/06/04/future-fail/

Cum sa agati femei, luati aminte http://cocalari.com/2011/06/cum-sa-agati-femei/#more-23423

ar trebui sa prin ploiesti, cred ca pe la unspe suntem la lukoil-ul din fata.

Lumeeee, lumeee, Iesim la plimbare din Bucuresti - sau, in cazul meu, de la tara din Domnesti . Plecare din Bucuresti la 10:00, pe dn1 pana la Campina, admirat barajul, ajuns la Targoviste, mancat pe drum la o pensiune faina si retur. Pana acum am fi doi cetateni cu motoarele din dotare. Mai vine cineva cu noi? Ioana