Sa mai si radem.

[mishu_dark]

[Grave]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnGLG-a2gKU...player_embedded

[Vizitator corleone]

Un scotian avea doi copii neastamparati, disperat incearca sa-i linisteasca:

 

-Daca stati cuminti va duc la cofetarie sa vedeti cum manaca copii prajituri.

[albastru.vertical]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTPko-aXvJM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj-x9ygQEGA

[Serj]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTPko-aXvJM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj-x9ygQEGA

 

[Grave]

Un tip se duce la bordel. La intrare sunt doua usi pe care scria: “Cu bani” si “Fara bani“. Omul, nefiind prea bogat, se gandeste ca, daca tot se poate, sa o faca fara bani. Intra si da in fata de inca doua usi: “Cu p*la mica” si “Cu p*la mare“. Nu era prea dotat, asa ca alege prima usa. Dupa ce intra mai gaseste inca doua usi: “Cu pretentii” si “Fara pretentii“. Bineinteles ca tipul se respecta si alege usa cu pretentii. Intra pe usa si… se trezeste afara din bordel cu un afis in fata lui: “Fara bani, cu pretentii si cu p*la mica s-o f**i pe ma-ta, ma!“

[Vizitator]

pe ala cu tambalul mi-ar placea sa il am invitat o data...

 

dar de asta ce ziceti? http://fulgerica.com/2009/08/05/ui-dont-ni...san/#more-11227

 

Fabulos!

[alexandru1771]

http://www.cinemagia.ro/stiri/avatar-dupa-...narea-ta-14603/

 

[Hai-Hui]

- "Ai facut armata ?"!

- "Da, raspunde omul. Am fost in Afganistan timp de 2 ani".

- "Bun, asta iti va aduce niste puncte suplimentare", zice

angajatorul.

- "Ai fost ranit sau ceva de genul asta ?"

- "Da, zice omul, o grenada a cazut langa mine si mi-a smuls

testiculele"

- "Foarte bine, zice angajatorul. Esti angajat. Vino maine dimineata

pe la 10".

Omul intreaba surprins:

- "Dar daca programul este de la 8 la 16, de ce trebuie sa vin eu de

la 10 ?"

- "Pai, zice angajatorul, asta e o slujba la Banca , primele doua ore

stam degeaba si ne scarpinam la c**ie. N-are rost sa vii de la 8 ...

[smakalan]

pentru ras:

 

http://www.220.ro/G3DUuTGLdx/Nunta-Din-Dachestan

[bl76]

Men's Rules

Women should learn these!

 

Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

 

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present again!

 

Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

 

Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

 

Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

 

Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

 

We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!

 

Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

 

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

 

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

 

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

 

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

 

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!

 

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

 

Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

 

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

 

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

 

Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

 

The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

 

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

 

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

 

We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

 

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

 

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

 

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

 

Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

 

BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

 

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it's like camping.

[tudor_BIG]

foarte funny: http://www.220.ro/NU2JvVPBTY/Ia-Curba-Daca-Poti

 

http://www.220.ro/FcuZ5NTb4B/Inmormantarea...Mare-Cap-Mafiot -marsh moto!

[and_Justice_for_All]

[bucurmarius]

tare..... dar trebuie sa fie 26 de intrebari, nu?

[mishu_dark]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNiX_l-HEGM

[alexandru1771]

[yonick]

Discutie intre muieri....

 

 

- D-apoi tu Marie, luatu-te-ai?

- Luat dara!

- Si cum-ui?

- Apoi, dragili meli, mi-am luat un ficior mindru, chipes,puternic, numai ca ari un betesug!

- Dusu-l-ai la doftor?

- Dus.

- Si ce-o zis doftoru?

- O zis ca-i surd de-o ureche!

- No las ca nu-i bai, doar nu trebuie sa auda toate cele!

- D-apoi tu Anuta, tu luatu-te-ai?

- D-apoi cum?

- Si-al tau cum-ui?

- Doamne ca al meu ii ca o catana, mere tantos pe ulita si ii tare ca un taur, frumos ca soarele, da' are un betesug!

- Dusu-l-ai la doftor?

- Dus.

- Si ce-o zis doftoru?

- O zis ca-i chior de un ochi, nu vedi bini!

- No las' ca nu-i bai, doara nu trebuie sa vada chiar toate cele!?

- D-apoi tu Minodora, tu luatu-te-ai?

- Pai tu fetelor eu mi-am luat un ficior cum nu sa mai exista pe suprafata pamintului! Pai al meu ii cit bradul, ii destept, puternic ca un urs, frumos ca o icoana, da are si al meu un betesug!

- Da' ce betesug are, bata-l norocu?

- Pai al meu dimineata ma f... , la amiaza ma f... , seara ma f... !!

- Si dusu-l-ai la doftor?

- Dus.

- Si ce-o zis doftoru?

- O zis ca n-are tinere de minte...

[Dan Cata]

Orbul catre schiop:

 

"Cum iti merge?"

 

Schiopul:

 

"Dupa cum prea-bine' vezi ".

[yonick]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNkjXmFn43M

[alexandru1771]

mi-am schimbat nickul numa sa nu dau de baut de sf.petru!

 

[szocspeti]

 

ridin' dirty..

[yonick]

Asa le trebe 'tule ticlezaul cui i-o zamislit

 

http://antena3.ro/stiri/rutier/masina-a-po...cluj_91057.html

 

:lol:

[alexandru1771]

privitul pe gaura chei,pe vizor este un obicei nesanatos,rusinos.iti poate baga careva degetu in ochi...

asa si forumul:HOME ALONE

[yonick]

Suna telefonul: Alo, senor Rod? Aici este Ernesto, ingrijitorul d-voastra de la casa de la tara..

 

Rod: Da Ernesto, ce pot sa fac ptr..tine?

Ernesto: Oh,am sunat, senor Rod, sa va anunt ca papagalul d-voastra a murit.

 

Rod: Papagalul meu?! Tocmai papagalul meu vorbitor care a cistigat multe premii internationale?

 

Ernesto: Da senor, acela.

 

Rod: Ce nenorocire, am cheltuit o avere cu papagalul asta. De ce a murit?

 

Ernesto: A mincat carne stricata.

 

Rod : Carne stricata?! Cine dracu l-a hranit cu carne stricata?

 

Ernesto:Nimeni senor, a mincat el singur carne de cal mort.

 

Rod: Cal mort? Ce cal mort?

 

Ernesto: Calul dumneavoastra pursinge, senor.

 

Rod: Nepretuitul meu cal pursinge, multiplu campion, este mort?

 

Ernesto: Da senor, a murit de epuizare tragind la caruta cu apa.

 

Rod: Ai innebunit de tot? Ce dracu' tot spui acolo? Ce caruta cu apa?

 

Ernesto: Cea pe care o foloseamm sa stingem focul, senor.

 

Rod: Dumnezeule ! Ce tot spui? Care foc?

 

Ernesto: Focul de la casa dumneavoastra senor.. O luminare a cazut si a aprins draperiile si perdelele...

 

Rod: Ce dracu' vrei sa spui, ca mi-a luat foc casa de la o luminare?

 

Ernesto: Si, senor.

 

Rod: Pai avem electricitate !!!

 

Pentru ce mama dracu' era luminarea aprinsa?

 

Ernesto: Senor, luminarea era aprinsa pentru inmormintare.

 

Rod: CARE NENOROCITA DE INMORMINTARE ?!!!

 

Ernesto: A sotiei d-voastra, senor Rod.

 

Rod:............!!!!!!!!!!!....????

 

Ernesto: Sa vedeti, a venit intr-o noapte acasa pe intuneric si eu am crezut ca este un hotz. Asa ca am lovit-o cu crosa d-voastra de golf, model Tiger Woods Nike Driver.

 

Rod: Ernesto! Daca mi-ai rupt crosa aia esti intr-un mare rahat !!!

[gabriela25]

Mesaj completat

Cura de slabire

Dupa multe studii, cercetatorii au reusit sa calculeze exact cantitatea de energie consumata in timpul unei partide de sex:

 

Dezbracarea (ei):

- cu consimtzamantul ei 12 calorii

- fara consimtzamantul ei 187 calorii

 

Desfacerea sutienului:

- cu amandoua mainile 8 calorii

- cu o singura mana 12 calorii

- cu dintzii 85 calorii

 

Punerea prezervativului:

- cu erectie 6 calorii

- fara erectie 315 calorii

 

Pozitzii:

- misionarul 12 calorii

- 69 culcat 78 calorii

- 69 in picioare 112 calorii

- roaba 216 calorii

- pe la spate 326 calorii

- candelabru italian 912 calorii

 

Atingerea orgasmului:

- adevarat 112 calorii

- fals 315 calorii

 

Dupa orgasm:

- stat in pat 18 calorii

- ridicare imediata 36 calorii

- incercarea de a-i explica (ei) de ce v-ati ridicat imediat 816 calorii

 

Obtzinerea unei a doua erectzii pentru persoane intre:

- 20 - 29 de ani 36 calorii

- 30 - 39 de ani 80 calorii

- 40 - 49 de ani 124 calorii

- 50 - 59 de ani 972 calorii

- 60 - 69 de ani 2916 calorii

- peste 70 de ani ? (cercetarile continua)

 

Imbracatul de dupa act:

- cu calm 32 calorii

- in graba 98 calorii

- cu tatal ei batand la usa 1218 calorii

- cu sotul ei batand la usa 3415 calorii

- cu sotia dumneavoastra batand la usa 9815 calorii.