Fun!

[Microbec]

[The Flying Dutchman]

It was a dark, stormy, night. A young marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty.

A general stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out “Sir, good evening, sir!”

The general, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said “Good evening soldier, nice night, isn't it?”

Well it wasn't a nice night, but the private wasn't going to disagree with the general, so the he saluted again and replied “Sir, yes sir!”

The general continued, “You know there's something about a stormy night that I find soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?”

The private didn't agree, but them the private was just a private, and responded “Sir, yes sir!”

The general, pointing at the dog, “This is a golden retriever, the best type of dog to train.”

The private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said “Sir, yes sir!”

The general continued “I got this dog for my wife.”

The private simply said “Good trade sir!”

[Penetru]

[The Flying Dutchman]

A tourist is picked up by a cabbie in New York on a dark night.

After some timer the passenger taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.

The driver screams, loses control of the car, nearly hits a bus, drives up on the sidewalk and stops inches from a shop window.

The driver said, "Look friend, don't ever do that again! You scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and says he didn't realize that a "little tap" could scare him so much.

The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver; I've been driving hearses for the last 25 years."

[Microbec]

[The Flying Dutchman]

A man from Texas is vacationing in Mexico, and spends his day roaming around, taking in the sights.

In the evening he goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner. As he sits there sipping his tequila, he notices that the couple at the table next to him are being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle.

When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish.

The waiter replied, “Ah, señor, you have excellent taste! Those are called cojones de toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A real delicacy!”

The Texan said, “Well, what the heck, bring me an order.”

The waiter replied, “I am so sorry, señor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.”

The next morning, the man returned, placed his order, and that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.

After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, “These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.”

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, “Si, señor. Sometimes the bull wins.”

[Microbec]

[The Flying Dutchman]

A lawyer has a terrible accident. He parked by the side of the road and opened the driver's side door, when all of a sudden an eighteen-wheeler truck came out of nowhere and took off the driver's side door with it.

“NOOO! My Jaguar, my Jaguar!” the lawyer screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same.

A police officer saw the car without a door and came over to check out if the man was OK.

The lawyer ran up to him yelling, “MY JAGUAR DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!”

“You're a lawyer, aren't you?” asked the officer.

“Yes, I am, but what does that have to do with my car?!?” the lawyer asked.

The officer replied, “Ha! You lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about is your prestige and your possessions. You must have been holding the car door when it got hit - I bet you didn't even notice that your left arm is missing, did you?”

The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed, “MY ROLEX!”

[Microbec]