The Flying Dutchman

1 hour ago, apriliacluj said:

Si in viata asta niste riscuri tre asumate!! Nu??

Se pare ca initiatorul nu vrea sa si le asume pana nu apare vreun Rambo de cartier care sa-i confirme ca aia e CALEA...

 Salut, as vrea sa stiu dar habar n-am. Si eu aud cateodata voci sau sunete care mi se par ciudate, dar prietenii mei nu ma cred pana nu le demonstrez.

The boss calls his secretary and says, “Get ready for the weekend, we are going on a business trip.”

The secretary calls husband and says, “Me and my boss are going on a business trip for two days so take care of yourself.”

The husband calls his girlfriend and says, “My wife is going on a business trip, come home we can have fun.”

The girlfriend calls the boy to whom she gives tuition, “No tuition this weekend.”

The boy calls his grandfather, “Grandpa, at last we can spend this weekend together.”

Grandpa (The boss) calls his secretary and says, “Business trip is cancelled, I'm going to spend weekend with my grandson.”

The secretary calls husband, “I won't be going.”

The husband calls his girlfriend, “I am sorry, my wife is not going.”

The girlfriend calls boy, “You have tuition.”

Boy calls his grandpa and says, “Sorry grandpa, I've classes.”

The grandpa calls secretary…

1 hour ago, Sof said:

RedMotors Bucuresti

0723 695 510 - am vorbit doar prin whatsapp si initial prin formularul de contact de pe site, au raspuns rapid la acel formular si mi-au spus sa continuam pe whatsapp

200 lei schimb anvelope + echilibrat pentru suzuki gs500f
https://www.redmotors.ro/cumpara/echilibrare-roti-moto-7475894

Strada Ilioara, București 077160 (se gaseste pe google sau maps destul de usor)

Si ai fost multumit, sau nu? Si asta este important de stiut.

3 hours ago, Nguyen said:

As cumpara doar daca s-ar vinde la pretul unei masini ICE si daca s-ar rezolva problema autonomiei si/sau a statiilor de incarca

Si eu. Nu pretul e problema, ci autonomia si infrastructura deficitara. Altfel, electricele sunt mai mult decat OK.

A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing.

Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words:

“Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about.

Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride.

She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator.

Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style.

She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn't suit you.

Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore.

Then as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked,

‘Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore?’

And so, here we are!”

47 minutes ago, misionaru said:

 

Nu pot spune ca un magazin moto dintre cele doua e mai bun ca celalalt, dar pot spune ca ambele magazine sunt bune

QED. 

De ce sa lasam realitatea sa stea in calea viselor unui om?

1 hour ago, Speedy.K said:

Ti s-a explicat de mai multe ori sa-ti vezi de treaba si sa iei o mobra de A2, daca atat ai acum pe permis.

Da, dar este mai "fun" sa iei una limitata ilegal. Apoi, si mai ca lumea, ii pui un burlan si faci liniute noaptea prin cartier, nu?

The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills.

The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what caliber the bullet was that killed the animal.

The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on. They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin.

After feeling it for a few moments, he announced “Bear.” Then he felt the bullet hole and declared, “Shot with a .308 rifle.” He was right.

They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk.

He took a bit longer this time and then said, “Elk, shot with a 7mm Mag rifle. He was right again.

Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time against a round of drinks.

Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his mind, and went to sleep.

The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner.

He said to his wife, “I know I was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it.

Where did I get this blackeye?”

His wife angrily replied, “I gave it to you. You got into bed and put your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly announced, “Skunk, killed with an axe.”

Pai altfel mai pui ceva marunti si iei ceva mai serios...

8 hours ago, Zeeek912 said:

Acum intrebarea este: "Au cum sa isi dea seama cei de la CTT in trafic de faptul ca motocicleta nu are puterea reala cea din talon?"

Nu.

Dar ceea ce a spus mai sus @pierrotlefou ramane valabil.

Three pregnant women are sitting in a cafe having lunch when one of them says, “I know that I'm going to have a boy.”

The other two women think about that for a moment, and then one of them says, “OK, how do you know you're going to have a boy?”

“Well, when the child was conceived,” says the first woman, “I was on top. So I'm going to have a boy.”

They sit and eat for a few minutes more, and then the second woman says, “Well, I'm going to have a girl.”

“Okay,” says the first one, “How do you know you're going to have a girl?”

“Well, when my child was conceived, I was on the bottom. So I'm going to have a girl.”

They sit and eat for a few minutes more, the third woman obviously getting more and more distressed, until finally, she breaks down into horrible sobbing.

“What's wrong, what's wrong?”

The first two women ask with concern.

The third woman manages to stifle her sobs long enough to only say one thing…

“I'm going to have a puppy!”

Sunt convins ca ai dreptate.

1 hour ago, danypop said:

Stai ca a mai apărut aia cu zoe mașina mare, confortabila și încăpătoare

Te intreb si pe tine. Ai mers cu vreun Zoe, sau doar te uiti la specificatii pe net?

Nimeni nu a spus ca e mare. Este confortabila, iar in ce priveste conceptul de incapator, e relativ. De exemplu, pentru @mircea.cazachevici Springul e suficient. Pentru mine nu este. Asta nu inseamna ca nu isi merita banii (cu subventie, desigur).

A guy asked a girl in the library, “Do you mind if I sit beside you?”

The girl answered with a loud voice, “I don't want to spend the night with you.”

All the students in the library started staring at the guy and he was embarrassed.

After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and told him,

“I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?”

The guy responded with a loud voice, “$200 just for one night? That's too much.”

And all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the boy whispered in her ears, I study law and I know how to make someone guilty.”

Oricum, a trecut prea mult timp. Mai stiu pe cineva, care a luat tot 400 leva, tot cu masina, amenda venita ceva mai repede decat la mine, cam la doi ani. Nici ala nu a platit, iar intre timp a mai fost pe acolo de cateva ori, are inca aceeasi masina.

1 hour ago, ENEOS said:

Să stau liniștit deci?

Cred ca da.

Ca fapt divers, desi treaba s-a petrecut pe intuneric, instiintarea a venit inclusiv cu poza. Scrisa in romana si bulgara. Camera a fost fixa, ar fi trebuit sa o stiu dar am fost dobitoc.

1 hour ago, The Flying Dutchman said:

intre timp am vandut motocicleta masina

Ce sa zic, simtul umorului e diferit la fiecare persoana. 

21 hours ago, pinnochio said:

In Zoe,nu e loc de mască..hi..hi..

Am un vecin si prieten cu Zoe. Ultima oara am discutat cu el pe tema asta in septembrie trecut. Avea 55000km, facuti numai in Bucuresti si împrejurimi, cotetul are patru ani. 

Omul are 1.8m si 90kg. Are loc confortabil inauntru.

M-am dat si eu odata cu ea, impreuna cu el. Masina e mai mult decat ok. Ai mers vreodata cu una, chiar si ca pasager? 

1 hour ago, LionEl said:

Pai nu exista un termen în care ar trebui sa ajungă? Vin așa după 2 ani??

Mie mi-a venit una din vara lui 2019 tocmai in toamna lui 2021, tot 400 leva.

N-am platit-o, iar intre timp am vandut motocicleta aia. 

A New York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?”
The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.”
Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true.
Saint Peter said, “Well, that’s fine, but it’s not really quite enough to get you into Heaven.”
The Lawyer said, “Wait Wait! There’s more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter.”
Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified.
Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, “Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?”
Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, “Let’s give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell.”

E o contrazicere flagranta intre cele doua postari, asta vrea sa spuna @Contabil.

În prima ai scris ca e prima data cand nu faci RCA la biroul de acte (de unde noi presupunem ca asigurarea ti-o face agentul sau cum vrei sa il numesti si, deci, asta e prima data cand incerci online, de unde si nevoia de lamuriri), iar în a doua spui ca faci RCA online de ani si ani.

Altfel, sa ai noroc si sa nu folosesti niciodata RCA-ul! 

13 hours ago, Lucian_M said:

E prima dată când nu-mi fac RCA la biroul de acte.

10 hours ago, Lucian_M said:

Completat corect, desigur, fac RCA online de mulți ani.

Ai dreptate, daca nu te cunosti bine cu ei, sunt cam ghiortoi.

Dar au preturi bune la anumite lucruri. Doar din ce-mi amintesc rapid: ulei, filtre, huse moto. Chiar si casti sau echipament, atunci cand au reduceri. 

Wow! Ultima solutie, inc-o revolutie!