The Flying Dutchman

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.” “Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer” the father says. “We’re sick of each other and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.” Franticly, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, “Like hell they’re getting divorced!” She shouts, “I’ll take care of this!” She calls Scotland immediately, and screams at her father “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there! I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife, “Sorted! They’re coming for Christmas - and they’re paying their own way.”

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Holmes?” Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent!”

Dupa retragerea Simonei Halep, astazi nenorocirea a lovit si golful romanesc! *"golful" se poate inlocui cu "schiul alpin".

A Texan goes to Toronto for a vacation. There he grabs a cab at the airport and says he's on his way to The Royal York Hotel. The Cabby heads downtown. On his way he passes Queens Park. “What's that?” says the Texan. “Oh! That's Queens Park,” says the Cabby, “It’s our Provincial Government, it’s like your State Government. Those buildings are almost 200 years old and they are quite big.” “Oh! We have buildings much older than that and at least twice as large,” says the Texan. They continue along and past First Canadian Place. “Holy cow,” says the Texan, “What's that?” “Why, that's First Canadian Place, it's the biggest office complex in the country,” says the Cabby, “it took almost 4 years to build.” “Really,” says the Texan, “why, in Houston they have buildings twice that big, and built in less than half the time.” They continue on the way, the Cabby a little miffed at the bragging, when they drive past the CN Tower. Now the Texan has his head out the window looking up at the 1850′ tower and rotating restaurant at 1300. “Holy Crap!” says the Texan. “What in god’s name is that? How long did it take to build that!” The Cabby nonchalantly glances out the window and says, “Heck if I know, it wasn't there yesterday!”

Ce marca si model de casca e asta?

Un modelator ar putea muta postarile pe topicul deschis de @mas oyama, cu piele si tablarie. Acolo nu cred ca va fi nicio problema daca se discuta despre astea.

Arată foarte bine pentru niște lucrări făcute de un amator, felicitări! Iar asta cu fleur de lys, care îmi pare a fi o husă pentru telefon, este deosebită!

A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport. “These hills are getting steeper as the years go by,” one complained. “These fairways seem to be getting longer too,” said one of the others. “The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too,” said the third senior. After hearing enough from his Senior buddies, the oldest, and the wisest of the four of them at 87 years old, piped up and said “Quit your dang complaining and just be thankful we're still on the right side of the grass!”

Sa-l stapanesti sanatos! Am vazut unul in Bucuresti anul trecut si am discutat un pic cu proprietarul. Cam scump si cu roti foarte mici, dar isi face treaba in oras daca nu ai de carat bagaje. Cu niste roti macar de 14" ar fi fost o competitie serioasa pentru cele cu motoare termice. @ingineru Tipul ala de anul trecut parea ca merge lejer la 80-90, cat am stat pe langa el. Ar trebui sa aiba si "zvac", fiind electric are cuplu instant. Nu stiu cum sta la autonomie reala, in conditii de exploatare mai "rough".

Nu conteaza. Merge facut macar un drum pana la Constanta si inapoi. Pe A2, desigur.

Carcotasule! Trebuie sa merge-m înainte cu ochii larg inchisi, cum a spus colegul nostru guzzist. Intentia conteaza!

Calare pe motocicleta pe trotuar? Nu e bine sa incalci legea, YNVatatorule... N-auzi ca omu' e chitit sa ocoleasca planeta? Nu mai conteaza cum!

I couldn't see the registration plate. Anything like B-XXX-YNV? On:

Eu as vrea sa dea Dumnezeu, sau dracu', sau cineva, si sa aibă succes de data asta cu provocarea "Ocolul pamantului pe autostrada" (daca nu, am belit-o, ramane sa gasim vreun motociclist prieten cu Umbrarescu, poate-l convinge sa faca o autostrada pe la Ecuator, cu tuneluri pe sub oceane. Poate asa se concentreaza pe costumul caroserie si ne pune si noua ceva poze aici, sa ne inspiram. Altfel, sa fie sanatos!

Flipper's disease is called, and it's contagious.

Aia cu catadioptrul e buna. Se pot folosi pe bicicleta sau trotineta. Au intarituri exterioare pentru a le lungi viata? Sau schimbi vitezele la o iesire si apoi pui ghetele la tomberon? Mai zic o data, pozele nu spun nimic bun despre marfa. Dar si Moise a zis..

A Jewish man moves into a Catholic neighborhood. Every Friday the Catholics are driven crazy because, while they're eating fish, the Jew is outside barbecuing steaks. So the Catholics work on the Jew to convert him to Catholicism. Finally, after many threats and much pleading, the Catholics succeed. They take the Jew to a priest who sprinkles holy water on the Jew and says, “Born a Jew, raised a Jew, now a Catholic.” The Catholics are ecstatic. No more delicious, but maddening smells every Friday evening. But the next Friday evening, the scent of barbecue wafts through the neighborhood. The Catholics all rush to the Jew's house to remind him of his new diet. They see him standing over the cooking steak. He is sprinkling water on the meat and saying, “Born a cow, raised a cow, now a fish.”

In plus, sunt noi sau folosite? Si pozele sunt cam... cah...

Cei din generatiile mai tinere nu stiu ca in poza asta sunt, de fapt, doua persoane. Cei din generatiile mai tinere nu stiu ca in poza asta sunt, de fapt, doua persoane. Cei din generatiile mai tinere nu stiu ca in poza asta sunt, de fapt, doua persoane. @apriliacluj, e intentionat, vreau sa detin eu recordul. Dar sper sa nu-l fi provocat pe @Flipper ca, cine stie de ce poate fi in stare...