The Flying Dutchman

The Pope, a hippie, and the President of the US were all on a plane that was crashing. The pilots had already jumped to safety and there were only two parachutes left. Without a moment’s hesitation, the President grabbed a pack, yelled “I’m the most powerful man in the universe! I have to survive!”, and jumped from the plane. The Pope, being the generous man that he is, said to the hippie, “You go ahead and take the last parachute. I’m an old man and I have lived a very full life.” The hippie thanked the Pope but said, “Don’t worry – we’ll both be fine. The most powerful man in the universe just jumped off the plane with my backpack.”

Buna observatie. Asta o uitasem, si de fapt e cea mai usor de constatat de orice militian.

Nu prea intra pe aici, mai bine suni.

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.” Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. “We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It’s easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what’s inside.” So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: “All the men on this floor are short and ugly, they don’t have jobs and hate children.” The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: “All the men here are short, but handsome, have decent jobs, and hate children.” Still, this isn’t good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: “All the men here are tall and handsome, have well paying jobs, don’t really care for children, but want to get married.” They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: “All the men here are tall, handsome, have all the money in the world, are romantic and sensual, love children, are not jealous, and will marry you on the spot.” The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: “There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman. Please go down on the escalator to your right.”

Pentru ce? Daca ai vreun exemplu, in afara de tobe as fi fericit sa aflu.

Din experienta mea si a altor cunoscuti in Romania, dupa ce ai trecut de RAR poti sa modifici aproape orice. Nu stiu cat este de legal sau nu, insa am fost de fata cand motociclete cu multe modificari au trecut ITP-ul pe bune si nu vorbesc doar de frane sau ghidoane. Rutiera se uita doar dupa burlane care tin locul tobelor si, uneori, dupa faruri care lumineaza aiurea.

Bravo? Cred ca aia de la Toyota sunt chinezi. Au anuntat si vietnamezii, mongolezii si sudanezii. Unde? Pai, undeva, acum catva timp. Eu vad. Doar ca nu stiu care este mersul normal de ICE. Mersul cui, mersul meu, mersul tau, mersul lui Ralf Schumacher, mersul lui @foxbat? Ai citit ce scrie acolo, sau doar ce am postat eu?

Cred ca tine mai mult de raspunsurile primite.

Toyota va veni pe piața vehiculelor electrice cu o tehnologie inovatoare a bateriilor. Japonezii vor introduce patru baterii avansate, incluzând opțiuni cu electrolit fluid și cu stare solidă, dintre care una va avea o autonomie de peste 497 mile (mie mi-a iesit cam 800km) si se va putea incarca in mai putin de 20 minute. Overall, toate bateriile vor avea autonomie mai mare decat cele actuale si un cost semnificativ mai redus. Vestea mai putin buna este ca mai avem putin de asteptat pana atunci. Avem si o sursa pentru aceasta informatie.

A husband and wife have four sons. The oldest three are tall with red hair and light skin while the youngest son is short with black hair and dark eyes. The father was on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me: Is our youngest son my child?” The wife replied, “I swear on everything that's holy that he is your son.” With that, the husband passed away. The wife muttered, “Thank God he didn't ask about the other three.”

Salut! Sugestia mea este sa eviti orice batai de cap. Mergi cu motocicleta la RAR fara aceste modificari, daca nu este deja inscrisa pe numele tau. Pe urma poti sa o transformi cum vrea sufletul tau. Ai vrut sa spui "customising"?

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.” Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?” The man said, “Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.”

Bravo!

Ok, atunci eliminam compresia si scanteia, fa sapaturi si vezi care-i treaba cu alimentarea. Carburatoare curatate, sincronizate etc. Eu as merge la un mecanic pentru asta.

Daca are o motoreta de 125 e o fetita. Nu cred ca @Ruginel nu a sesizat asta.

Never climb the ladder when a pretty girl tells you to go and SuckCess.:)) On: A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, “I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa.” Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, “Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00.” This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. “What's the distance from the earth to the moon?” The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. “Okay” says the lawyer, “your turn.” She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?” The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, “Thank you,” and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, what's the answer?” Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

A man is walking along one day and he comes upon a ladder. Looking up, he sees that the ladder disappears into the clouds. Curious, he begins to climb. Before long, he is in the clouds. He looks around and sees the most horribly ugly woman he has ever seen in his life. Obese, snaggle-toothed, matted hair… She looks at him, beckons, and says, “Have lovemaking with me, or climb the ladder to success.” Well, having no intention of doing anything with this woman, the man climbs higher up the ladder. A bit further on, he comes upon a woman slightly less ugly than the woman before. Not attractive, by any means, but not repugnant. “Have lovemaking with me, or climb the ladder to success”, she says. Again, the man elects to continue his climb. Before long, he comes upon another woman. This one is actually attractive. Not a knock-out, but very pleasing. “Have lovemaking with me, or climb the ladder to success.” Well, he figures the women keep getting better and better looking as he gets higher and higher. So he decides to continue climbing. A bit farther up is the most gorgeous woman he's ever seen in his life! Miss America beautiful. In a sultry voice she says, “Have sex with me, or climb the ladder to success.” Well, needless to say he is very tempted. But he just can't imagine what could top this woman, so he decides to climb higher. On the next cloud up is a horrid 500 lb man. You can see the lice in his hair, he stinks, his clothes are ratty… “Who are you?” our climber asks in horror. Grinning a toothless grin, the man looks at him and says, “Hi! I'm Cess.”

The little Johnny was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, “Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?” The little boy replied, “Sure! Just go straight down this street a couple of blocks and turn to your right.” The man thanked the boy kindly and said, “I'm the new pastor in town. I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday, I'll show you how to get to Heaven.” The little Johnny replied with a chuckle, “You're bullshitting me, right? You don't even know the way to the Post Office!”

Lasa bujia daca porneste usor impinsa. Mergi la un mecanic sa-ti curete si regleze carburatorul.

+1 Si ce model. Da' ne uitam in glob si aflam imediat.

A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor. At the first house a woman complains, “I've been a little sick to my stomach.” The older doctor says, “Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?” As they left, the younger man said, “You didn't even examine that woman? How'd you come to the diagnosis so quickly?” “I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what probably was making her sick.” The younger doctor said, “Pretty clever. If you don't mind, I think I'll try that at the next house.” Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She said that she just didn't have the energy she once did and said, “I'm feeling terribly run down lately.” “You've probably been doing too much for the church,” the younger doctor told her. “Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.” As the left, the elder doctor said, “I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is most certainly correct, she's very active in the church, but how did you arrive at it?” “I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and, when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the priest under the bed.”

Ori sta turat, ori moare, nu prea merg impreuna.

Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives. One woman said, “I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does.” The second woman giggled and confessed, “I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft.” The third woman quietly sipped her whiskey until her friend asked, “Say, what do you call your husband?” She frowned and said, “The postman.” “Why the postman?” “Because he always delivers late, and half the time it's in the wrong box.”

All tests came back looking good, and the doctor sits down to discuss the results with him. “Well, Eric, physiologically everything looks good. How are you doing emotionally and mentally? Are you feeling content, and how's your faith these days? “God and I are on great terms. He knows that I see so poorly these days, so now whenever I go to the bathroom at night, then ‘poof' - the light turns on! And when I'm done peeing, then ‘poof' - the light turns off again!” “Fantastic! That sounds marvelous,” says the doctor. A couple of days later the doctor calls Eric's wife: “Good day, Anna. Eric's vitals are looking good, and he seems to be doing well. The reason for my call is his relation to God. Is it really true that whenever he goes to empty his bladder at night, then ‘poof' - the bathroom light turns on? And when he's done, then ‘poof' - the light turns off again?” Eric's wife sighs: “That old fool. He has started peeing in the fridge again…”

Posibile cauze? Lipsa benzina, lipsa scanteie, lipsa compresie. Cauzele cauzelor nu le pot depista de aici.