FUN

[Microbec]

[Penetru]

 

 

Basculare rapidă.

 

 

[The Flying Dutchman]

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister decide to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together.

The priest begins. “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”

“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”

They both look down at the rabbi, who is wrapped in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”

[Microbec]

[The Flying Dutchman]

Patient: “Doctor, I think I’ve been bitten by a vampire.”

Doctor: “Drink this glass of water.”

Patient: “Will it make me better?”

Doctor: “No, but I’ll be able to see if your neck leaks.”

[Microbec]

[The Flying Dutchman]

A woman went to her doctor’s office with a seemingly incurable case of hiccups.

A new doctor examined her, and after a few minutes, she began to scream and ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was. After she explained, the older doctor went to the new doctor and said, “What’s the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?”

The new doctor smiled and said, “Cured her hiccups though, didn’t it?”

[Lup69]

[ENEOS]

[Lup69]

6 hours ago, ENEOS said:

[The Flying Dutchman]

A very angry woman stormed up to the receptionist’s desk at a doctor’s office.

“Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday,” she complained.

The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. “I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing,” he said. “Why do you think it was taken here?”

“After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly.”

“I think,” explained the surgeon gently, “that means your cataract operation was a success.”

[Microbec]

[The Flying Dutchman]

A 71 year old man is having a drink in a Chicago bar. Suddenly a gorgeous 19 year old girl enters and sits down a few seats away. The girl is so attractive that he just can't take his eyes off her. After a short while the girl notices him staring, and approaches him. Before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone:

“I'll do anything you'd like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn't matter how extreme or unusual it is, I'm game. I want 100 dollars, and there's another condition”.

Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what her condition is.

She replies, “You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.”

The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman. He then whips out his wallet and puts 10 ten-dollar bills in her outstretched hand. He then looks her square in the eye, and says slowly and clearly:

“Paint my house.”

[Penetru]

https://x.com/i/status/1810891491432096142

 

"I realized I was fu*king your wife" (Joe Biden at NATO summit)

 

 

 

 

[Lup69]

[The Flying Dutchman]

A wife woke up from her night’s sleep and began recounting her dream to her husband.

“I dream they were auctioning off tool in this place, “she began, “the big ones went for a tenner and the thick ones went for 20.”

“How about the ones like mine?” asked her husband.

“Those they gave away,” she replied tongue in cheek.

“I had a dream too,” started the husband. “I dream they were auctioning off fannies. The pretty ones went for a thousand and the little tight ones went for double that!”

“And how much for the ones like mine?” enquired the wife to her husband.

“That’s where they held the auction,” he replied.

[Penetru]

[The Flying Dutchman]

Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates.

One doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, “As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of children.”

St. Peter lets him enter.

The next doctor says, “As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives.”

St. Peter tells him to go ahead.

The last man says, “I was an HMO manager. I got countless families cost-effective health care.”

St. Peter replies, “You may enter. But,” he adds, “you can only stay for three days. After that, you can go to hell.”

[Lup69]

[The Flying Dutchman]

At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands.

After dinner, one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel bedroom. Just as things get hot, the female doctor interrupts and says she has to go and wash her hands. Once she comes back they go for it. Once they finish, she gets up and says she is going to wash her hands.

As she comes back the male doctor says, “I bet you are a surgeon”.

She confirms and asks how he knew.

“Easy, you’re always washing your hands.”

She then says, “I bet you’re an anesthesiologist.”

Male doctor: “Wow, how did you guess?”

Female doctor: “I didn’t feel a thing.”

[Microbec]

[Lup69]

[Penetru]

[Lup69]

[The Flying Dutchman]

Drink juice!

Juice means energy!

Energy means sport!

Sport means power!

Power means money!

Money means women!

Women mean troubles...

You better drink water!!!