ENEOS Posted August 29, 2024 Share Posted August 29, 2024 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lup69 Posted August 30, 2024 Share Posted August 30, 2024 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Flying Dutchman Posted September 2, 2024 Author Share Posted September 2, 2024 A lawyer has a terrible accident. He parked by the side of the road and opened the driver's side door, when all of a sudden an eighteen-wheeler truck came out of nowhere and took off the driver's side door with it. “NOOO! My Jaguar, my Jaguar!” the lawyer screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same. A police officer saw the car without a door and came over to check out if the man was OK. The lawyer ran up to him yelling, “MY JAGUAR DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!” “You're a lawyer, aren't you?” asked the officer. “Yes, I am, but what does that have to do with my car?!?” the lawyer asked. The officer replied, “Ha! You lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about is your prestige and your possessions. You must have been holding the car door when it got hit - I bet you didn't even notice that your left arm is missing, did you?” The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed, “MY ROLEX!” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Microbec Posted September 3, 2024 Share Posted September 3, 2024 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penetru Posted September 3, 2024 Share Posted September 3, 2024 aKGDjm1_460svvp9.webm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ENEOS Posted September 3, 2024 Share Posted September 3, 2024 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Flying Dutchman Posted September 3, 2024 Author Share Posted September 3, 2024 When Big Peter McFlannel dies in Glasgow, his old widow wishes to tell all his friends at once, so she goes to the newspaper and says, “I'd like tae place an obituary fur ma late husband.” The man at the desk says “OK, how much money dae ye have?” The old woman replies “£5” to which the man says, “You won’t get many words for that but write something and we'll see if it's ok”. So the old woman writes something and hands it over the counter and the man reads “Peter McFlannel, fae Parkheid, deid”. The clerk feels guilty at the abruptness of the statement and encourages the old woman to write a few more things. The old woman ponders and then adds a few more words and hands the paper over the counter again. The clerk then reads “Peter Reid, fae Parkheid deid. Ford Escort for sale.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penetru Posted September 3, 2024 Share Posted September 3, 2024 a2v4oL9_460svvp9.webm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Flying Dutchman Posted September 3, 2024 Author Share Posted September 3, 2024 A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. ‘Careful,' he said, ‘careful! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! Where are we going to get more butter? They're going to stıck! Careful! Careful! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them! You know you always forget to salt them! Use the! Salt! Use the salt! The salt!' The wife stared at him. ‘What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, ‘I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penetru Posted September 4, 2024 Share Posted September 4, 2024 aMVAx9M_460svvp9.webm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Flying Dutchman Posted September 4, 2024 Author Share Posted September 4, 2024 Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, “Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?” Thomas replied, “Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them.” His friend thinks for a moment and says, “I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother.” A few months later they meet again and his friend says, “Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?” With a frown on his face, Thomas answers, “Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much.” The friend said, “Then what's the problem?” Thomas replied, “My father doesn't like her.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penetru Posted September 4, 2024 Share Posted September 4, 2024 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Flying Dutchman Posted September 4, 2024 Author Share Posted September 4, 2024 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucian_M Posted September 4, 2024 Share Posted September 4, 2024 He is not allowed to park there!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Flying Dutchman Posted September 5, 2024 Author Share Posted September 5, 2024 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ENEOS Posted September 5, 2024 Share Posted September 5, 2024 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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The Flying Dutchman Posted September 5, 2024 Author Share Posted September 5, 2024 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lup69 Posted September 5, 2024 Share Posted September 5, 2024 1 hour ago, The Flying Dutchman said: In fact is the actual....this picture is from nowadays.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Flying Dutchman Posted September 5, 2024 Author Share Posted September 5, 2024 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Lup69 Posted September 6, 2024 Share Posted September 6, 2024 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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