The Flying Dutchman

Three friends go boat fishing, a priest, a rabbi and an atheist. The priest says, “Oh heavens, I forgot my lures back on land” and steps out of the boat, walks across the water back to the land, and grabs his lures before walking back to the boat. The atheist was astounded, but before he could make sense of the situation, the rabbi says, “Oh Yahweh help me, I forgot my bait!” And he also steps out of the boat, and walks across the water back to the land to grab his bait, before walking back to the boat. The atheist was stunned, but refusing to believe in divinity of any sort or it's impact on the world, he says, “Yeah… I left my extra line on land”. The atheist hops out of the boat and, “SPLASH!“, he sinks right through to the bottom of the lake. After a moment the priest looks at the rabbi and says, “Come to think of it, we probably should have told him where the rocks were.”

As soon as the newlyweds returned from their honeymoon, the young bride called her mother, who lived a couple of hours away. “How did everything go?” her mom asked. “Oh, mother,” she began, “The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic, we had a terrific time. But, mother, on our way back, Andy started using really horrible language. Stuff I'd never heard before. Really terrible four-letter words. You've got to come get me and take me home. Please, Mother!” the new bride sobbed over the telephone. “But, honey,” the mother countered, “What four-letter words?” “I can't tell you, mother, they're too awful! Come get me, please!” “Darling, you must tell me what has gotten you so upset… Tell mother what four-letter words he used.” Still sobbing, the bride said, “Mother, words like dust, wash, iron, cook.”

O motocicleta cinstita, si eu as fi ales-o, cum am zis cateva pagini mai inainte. Daca va fi macar aproape de suratele ei mai batrane la partea de fiabilitate, o sa te poarte pe drumuri timp indelungat. Sa o stapanesti sanatos!

Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, “Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?” Thomas replied, “Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them.” His friend thinks for a moment and says, “I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother.” A few months later they meet again and his friend says, “Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?” With a frown on his face, Thomas answers, “Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much.” The friend said, “Then what's the problem?” Thomas replied, “My father doesn't like her.”

Am vazut, am dat-o ca exemplu. Un cunoscut a luat o Honda de la ei, tot dupa ce promotia expirase, a sunat si mai aveau pe stoc. Tot ca exemplu, eu as lua Transalpul. Ca si initiatorul, am avut un KLE 500, pret de vreo doi ani si vreo 25000km. De pe KLE pe Transalp nu va vedea nicio diferenta majora, daca nu luam in calcul imbunatatirile oferite de faptul ca e o motoreta noua si are injectie, ABS etc. Dar basic e acelasi motor "moartea pasiunii" (dar buletproof), centru de greutate ridicat samd.

Speedy, si eu sunt de aceeasi parere cu Ruginel. Uite aici una noua model '23, mai pui ceva parale peste cele 8000 si o iei virgina!

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. ‘Careful,' he said, ‘careful! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! Where are we going to get more butter? They're going to stıck! Careful! Careful! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them! You know you always forget to salt them! Use the! Salt! Use the salt! The salt!' The wife stared at him. ‘What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, ‘I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

When Big Peter McFlannel dies in Glasgow, his old widow wishes to tell all his friends at once, so she goes to the newspaper and says, “I'd like tae place an obituary fur ma late husband.” The man at the desk says “OK, how much money dae ye have?” The old woman replies “£5” to which the man says, “You won’t get many words for that but write something and we'll see if it's ok”. So the old woman writes something and hands it over the counter and the man reads “Peter McFlannel, fae Parkheid, deid”. The clerk feels guilty at the abruptness of the statement and encourages the old woman to write a few more things. The old woman ponders and then adds a few more words and hands the paper over the counter again. The clerk then reads “Peter Reid, fae Parkheid deid. Ford Escort for sale.”

A lawyer has a terrible accident. He parked by the side of the road and opened the driver's side door, when all of a sudden an eighteen-wheeler truck came out of nowhere and took off the driver's side door with it. “NOOO! My Jaguar, my Jaguar!” the lawyer screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same. A police officer saw the car without a door and came over to check out if the man was OK. The lawyer ran up to him yelling, “MY JAGUAR DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!” “You're a lawyer, aren't you?” asked the officer. “Yes, I am, but what does that have to do with my car?!?” the lawyer asked. The officer replied, “Ha! You lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about is your prestige and your possessions. You must have been holding the car door when it got hit - I bet you didn't even notice that your left arm is missing, did you?” The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed, “MY ROLEX!”

La care se adauga avantajul substantial oferit de economia facuta la echipament, maieurile si papucii sunt ieftine. On topic, OP poate lua in calcul un adv mare.

Nu dati banii pe prostii! Cumparati chinezarii! Degeaba scriem noi aici ca sunt niste mizerii sinistre, fraierii tot vor pune botu'.

A tourist is picked up by a cabbie in New York on a dark night. After some timer the passenger taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screams, loses control of the car, nearly hits a bus, drives up on the sidewalk and stops inches from a shop window. The driver says, "Look friend, don't ever do that again! You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologizes and says he didn't realize that a "little tap" could scare him so much. The driver replies, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver; I've been driving hearses for the last 25 years."