The Flying Dutchman

A woman went to her doctor’s office with a seemingly incurable case of hiccups. A new doctor examined her, and after a few minutes, she began to scream and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was. After she explained, the older doctor went to the new doctor and said, “What’s the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?” The new doctor smiled and said, “Cured her hiccups though, didn’t it?”

@danielll243, o sa-ti explic mai pe indelete. Nu am vazut pana acum vreunul dintre cei care pun intrebari pe forum inainte de a achizitiona o motocicleta sa asculte de sfaturile pe care le primesc. Niciunul nu plateste sa mearga la o reprezentanta pentru o verificare temeinica inainte de cumparare. Toti cumpara niste cazane obosite si abuzate grav de altii inaintea lor si la scurt timp apar sa ceara sfaturi cum sa le repare. Niciunul nu cumpara o motocicleta “cinstita” sau un scuter, toti vor “sportive” cu care sa impresioneze fetele cu fustele si mintea scurta. Uite, @Kristian are de vreo doi ani la vanzare o motocicleta excelenta si bine intretinuta, numai buna, pe care niciun puber din astia ca tine nu se gandeste sa o cumpere pentru ca nu are carene si nu atrage pitipoance. Aproape toate motocicletele astea “sportive” sunt abuzate de tineri care le duc in limitare prin cartier, nu le controleaza niciodata nivelul la ulei si nu schimba nimic la ele pana nu se strica. In cazul tau, solutia va fi probabil sa inlocuiesti cilindrul, pistonul, segmentii, posibil arborele cu came si culbutorii, si, iarasi posibil, arborele cotit. Daca adaugi manopera facuta de un meserias care o repara ca lumea si nu pe genunchi, probabil ca vei iesi mai bine sa cumperi alt motor sau alta motocicleta. @Speedy.K, @ENEOS, anul trecut am vandut o motoreta pe OLX. Primele mesaje au fost despre care ar fi ultimul pret (pe nevazute), mai ca ar fi vrut sa o ia degeaba, sau sa le mai dau eu ceva bani. Iar primul care a venit sa o vada, inainte de orice altceva s-a uitat la toba finala si m-a intrebat unde sunt suruburile pe care sa le scoata ca sa poata demonta decibel killer-ul.

Patient: “Doctor, I think I’ve been bitten by a vampire.” Doctor: “Drink this glass of water.” Patient: “Will it make me better?” Doctor: “No, but I’ll be able to see if your neck leaks.”

Fixed.

Crezi ca va intelege? Mai intai a intrebat daca "se merita" sa cumpere cotetul si nu a ascultat de sfaturi. Apoi, desi motorul era intretinut maniacal, au aparut problemele: ba nu porneste, ba vobleaza, acum se aude cum bate ceva in motor. Lumea continua sa cumpere cazane si apoi vin sa le repare pe forum

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister decide to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins. “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.” “I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.” They both look down at the rabbi, who is wrapped in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”

Two guys were out walking their dogs on a hot day, when they pass by a pub. The first guy says, “Let’s go in there for a pint.” Second guy, says, “They won’t let us in with our dogs.” First guy: “Sure they will, just follow my lead.” He goes up to the pub, and sure enough the doorman says, “I can’t let you in here with that dog.” He replies, “Oh, I’m blind and this is my seeing-eye dog.” The doorman says, “Ok then, come on in.” The second guy sees this and does the same thing. He goes up to the pub, and the doorman says, “You can’t come in here with a dog.” He replies, “I’m blind and this is my seeing-eye dog.” The doorman responds, “You have a chihuahua for a seeing-eye dog?” The second guy stops for a second, and exclaims, “They gave me a chihuahua?”

A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads, “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in. “So, what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog. “I’ve led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now, I spend my days reading at a retirement home.” The guy is flabbergasted, he turns to the owner and asks, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of a dog like that?” The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that.”

Sper sa fie un instructor la fel de bun pe cat are gura de mare pe aici.

Cel mai bine ar trebui sa te lamureasca @Speedy.K.

Vorbim de aftermarket ca lumea, nu de chinezarii.

A dog walks into a butcher shop and the butcher asks, “What do you want?” The dog points to steak in a glass case. “How many pounds?” The dog barks twice. “Anything else?” The dog points to some pork chops and barks four times. So the butcher wraps up a two-pound steak and four pork chops, and places the bag in the dog’s mouth. He then takes money from a purse tied around the dog’s neck, and sees him out. A customer, who has been watching in amazement, follows the dog to a house several blocks away, where it rings the doorbell to be let in. As the owner appears at the door, the customer says, “What a remarkable dog!” “Remarkable?” snorts the owner. “This is the second time this week he’s forgotten his keys.”

Nu sunt interesat de tura dar imi place semnatura ta.

An old lady goes to the doctor. She mentions that no matter what when she farts, they are always silent and don’t smell. To illustrate her point, she lets one go. Old lady: “See, Doctor, it was silent, and I don’t smell anything.” Doctor: “I see, I am going to give you a prescription, then I want you to come back in a week and see how you are progressing.” One week later, the old lady comes back. Old lady: “I don’t know what you gave me, doc, but now my farts smell horrible!” Doctor: “Great! Now that we fixed your sinuses, we can work on your hearing.”

An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?" "Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences... I guess I am," replied the cowboy. After a short while he asked her what she was. "I've never been on a ranch so I'm not a cowboy, but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women," told the young woman. A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" "Well, I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian!"

Global warming?

Foarte bine spus, la fel ca si opiniile despre 300L.

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk." Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go." Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

Daca vrei nou ai CRF 300L sau Rally. Eu as lua L, chiar daca are rezervorul mai mic este mai usoara. Daca vrei SH de cativa ani te poti uita si la 250L/Rally, Kawasaki KLX 230, Beta Alp 200/400. Fiecare are plusuri si minusuri, depinde cum le privesti. Ca idee generala, la plusuri Honda si Kawa vin cu injectie si tehnologie mai noua, iar Beta cu motoarele buletproof de la Suzi si greutatea redusa. Am mentionat doar dual-sport. Sunt inmatriculabile si fac foarte bine ce ti-ai propus (oras, soft enduro, chiar si cei 200-300km daca nu te deranjeaza scandura de sub popou). My two cents.

Nu merge si o sabie Jedi SH de pe eBay?

Ai citit ce am scris acolo? Pentru ca surubul ala de golire nu inchide bine, dintr-un motiv sau altul. Poate pentru ca nu e strans suficient sau poate pentru ca e o chinezarie ordinara, cum s-a scris mai sus. Poate fi si o alta cauza, plutitor, etc., nu sunt ghicitor. Nu inteleg de ce oamenii nu cumpara un lucru ca lumea si iau mizeriile astea apoi vin sa ceara minuni aici.

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back." "Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer." The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc. The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop... but at the bar... you know... they have frozen glasses..." He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it. The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?" "You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc. "But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know... there's swearing, dirty words and all that..." "You want dirty words, cutie pie?... LISTEN UP, DICKHEAD! DRINK YOUR FUCKING BEER IN YOUR GODDAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU ARE MARRIED NOW, YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, ASSHOLE?" And they lived happily ever after.

Am auzit eu. La DGCPI, cand inmatriculezi troaca.

Poate fi furtunul de preaplin, pe care curge daca ai pus prea multa benzina in rezervor, sau furtunul de golire a carburatorului. La carburator exista un surub de golire care, daca nu este strans suficient, lasa benzina sa curga prin furtunul ala de care zic. De obicei ala de la carburator e mai subtire.

De acord. Poti sa ai mama sculelor daca nu lucrezi cu ea cum trebuie. Iar daca ai si ghinionul sa cumperi un aparat SH "intretinut maniacal" cu care "a sudat o babuta de doua ori pe an"...