Lup69 Postat Iulie 24 Share Postat Iulie 24 Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
ENEOS Postat Iulie 24 Share Postat Iulie 24 Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
Lup69 Postat Iulie 24 Share Postat Iulie 24 Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
The Flying Dutchman Postat Iulie 24 Autor Share Postat Iulie 24 In a convent in Kenya, the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, they held the glass to her lips. The frail nun drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop. As her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader… “Mother.” The nuns asked earnestly. “Please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us.” She raised herself up in bed on one elbow, looked at them and said: “DON'T SELL THAT COW.” Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
Lup69 Postat Iulie 24 Share Postat Iulie 24 Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
The Flying Dutchman Postat Iulie 25 Autor Share Postat Iulie 25 When Fred found out he was going to inherit a fortune, when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. “I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said as he walked up to her, “but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars.” Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother. Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
Lup69 Postat Iulie 25 Share Postat Iulie 25 Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
The Flying Dutchman Postat Iulie 25 Autor Share Postat Iulie 25 The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on the mobile. The wife said, ”Where are you, you know we have lots to do?!” He said, “You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?” Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all choked up. “Yes, I do remember that shop….” she replied. “Well I am in the bar next to that.” Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
Microbec Postat Iulie 26 Share Postat Iulie 26 Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
The Flying Dutchman Postat Iulie 26 Autor Share Postat Iulie 26 A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. So the new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, “ok, old fart, time to retire.” The old rooster replies, “come on, you can't handle ALL these chickens, look what it's done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?” The young rooster says, “Scram! Beat it! You're washed up and I'm taking over.” The old rooster says, “I'll tell you what, young stud, I'll race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.” The young rooster laughs. “You know you don't stand a chance old man, so just to be fair, I'll give you a head start.” So, they get a chicken to cluck “Go!”, and the old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He's already about five feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs up his shotgun and BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head, “Dang it… third gay rooster I bought this month.” Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
Lup69 Postat Iulie 26 Share Postat Iulie 26 Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
The Flying Dutchman Postat Iulie 27 Autor Share Postat Iulie 27 One day this girl, who is wearing a skirt, goes out to play with her friends. She goes to the park and meets a boy. They talk about climbing trees. The boy says to the girl: “Go on climb that tree.” The girls climbs up and the boy just stands there and looks up to the girls pants. After a while the girl goes home and tells her mum about what happened. Her mum says: “Oh, my stupid girl, he just stood there and watched your pants.” The next day she went out again with her skirt on and met that boy again. He told her to climb again and she did. When she got home she tells her mum what happened again and her mum says: “My stupid girl, he just stood there and watched your pants.” The girl replied and said: “No, actually I tricked him, this time I did not wear any pants!” Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
Lup69 Postat Iulie 27 Share Postat Iulie 27 Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
The Flying Dutchman Postat Iulie 27 Autor Share Postat Iulie 27 All tests came back looking good, and the doctor sits down to discuss the results with the patient. “Well, Eric, physiologically everything looks good. How are you doing emotionally and mentally? Are you feeling content, and how's your faith these days? “God and I are on great terms. He knows that I see so poorly these days, so now whenever I go to the bathroom at night, then ‘poof' - the light turns on! And when I'm done peeing, then ‘poof' - the light turns off again!” “Fantastic! That sounds marvelous,” says the doctor. A couple of days later the doctor calls Eric's wife: “Good day, Anna. Eric's vitals are looking good, and he seems to be doing well. The reason for my call is his relation to God. Is it really true that whenever he goes to empty his bladder at night, then ‘poof' - the bathroom light turns on? And when he's done, then ‘poof' - the light turns off again?” Eric's wife sighs: “That old fool. He has started peeing in the fridge again…” Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
Lup69 Postat Iulie 28 Share Postat Iulie 28 Asta merge si la topicul de electrice: Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
The Flying Dutchman Postat Iulie 28 Autor Share Postat Iulie 28 God received a delegation of animals complaining of their lot in life. There was an elephant, a giraffe, and a hen. The elephant complained, “Lord, I HATE THIS TRUNK YOU have given me. It gets in the way, and makes me look like a fool”! The Lord said, “Don't complain. It lets you pick up food, drink water, etc. without getting wet”! Next the giraffe complained, “Lord, I HATE THIS LONG NECK! It makes me top heavy, I get terrible neck pains, and people laugh at me”! The Lord said, “Don't complain. It lets you pick the best fruit and leaves from the high branches, and allows you to see a distance”. Then the hen spoke up, “Lord, I don't want to complain… but either let me have a bigger ass or smaller eggs”. Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
Microbec Postat Iulie 30 Share Postat Iulie 30 Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
Penetru Postat Iulie 30 Share Postat Iulie 30 Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
Lup69 Postat Iulie 30 Share Postat Iulie 30 Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
The Flying Dutchman Postat Iulie 30 Autor Share Postat Iulie 30 Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives. One woman said, “I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does.” The second woman giggled and confessed, “I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft.” The third woman quietly sipped her whiskey until her friend asked, “Say, what do you call your husband?” She frowned and said, “The postman.” “Why the postman?” “Because he always delivers late, and half the time it's in the wrong box.” Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
Lup69 Postat Iulie 30 Share Postat Iulie 30 Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
The Flying Dutchman Postat Iulie 31 Autor Share Postat Iulie 31 A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor. At the first house a woman complains, “I've been a little sick to my stomach.” The older doctor says, “Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?” As they left, the younger man said, “You didn't even examine that woman? How'd you come to the diagnosis so quickly?” “I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what probably was making her sick.” The younger doctor said, “Pretty clever. If you don't mind, I think I'll try that at the next house.” Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She said that she just didn't have the energy she once did and said, “I'm feeling terribly run down lately.” “You've probably been doing too much for the church,” the younger doctor told her. “Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.” As they left, the elder doctor said, “I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is most certainly correct, she's very active in the church, but how did you arrive at it?” “I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and, when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the priest under the bed.” Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
apriliacluj Postat Iulie 31 Share Postat Iulie 31 Acum 15 ore, Lup69 a spus: adica un fel de: -nea Ioane, voi ce faceti cu palinca ramasa?? -nu inteleg intrebarea Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
Lup69 Postat Iulie 31 Share Postat Iulie 31 9 hours ago, apriliacluj said: adica un fel de: -nea Ioane, voi ce faceti cu palinca ramasa?? -nu inteleg intrebarea Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
The Flying Dutchman Postat August 1 Autor Share Postat August 1 Citează Link spre comentariu Distribuie pe alte site-uri More sharing options...
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