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A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of a large university. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

 

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

 

Seven days later, they all came back together to discuss their experience.

 

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. 'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'

 

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.'

 

The priest and the reverend both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a full body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him.

 

The Rabbi looked up and said, 'Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start.'

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Predator___Duck_Hunt.gif

 

mda..pe mine nu ma amuza faze de astea..sa iei parti din filme BUNE si sa le strici folosint ca.caturi de astea cu pasari si caini..ratze salabatice si altele..NASPA

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asta da stunter :lol:

 

No la asta numa permis sa-i dea careva! :lol:

 

Urla prostia in blonde uneori!

Editat de IceLord
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Niste moldoveni la jocurile olimpice. Proba de caiac-canoe. Astia asezati langa mal.

Trece echipajul de pe locul 1, moment in care moldovenii incep sa strige : Mu'ie ba!! Chizda matii!! etc. Nici un raspuns.

Trece echipajul de pe locul 2. Moldovenii iar: Sa va fu`tim ma!! M'uii!! Etc..nici un raspuns.

Trece echipajul de pe locul 3. Moldovenii striga: M'uii ma! Chizda matii!! Echipajul de pe locul 3 riposteaza: Ba a matii ba!! La care moldovenii exclama extaziati: Astia sunt!!! HAI ROMANIA!!!!

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Doi tineri erau casatoriti doar de doua saptamani.

Sotul, desi era foarte indragostit, abia astepta sa iasa in oras cu

vechii lui prieteni sa petreaca.

Asa ca ii spuse sotiei: "Scumpa mea, vin repede."

"Unde mergi iubitel?" intreba sotia.

"Merg pana la bar, draguto. Sa beau o bere."

Sotia spuse: "Vrei bere dragostea mea?" Deschise usa de la frigider si

ii arata 25 de tipuri diferite de bere, din 12 tari diferite: Germania,

Olanda, Japonia, India...

Sotul nu stia ce sa faca, sigurul lucru pe care a fost in stare sa il

spuna a fost: "Da, acadeaua mea... dar la bar... stii tu... au halbe

inghetate..." Nu a apaucat sa termine fraza ca sotia il intrerupse:

"Vrei halba inghetata iepuras?" si scoase din congelator o halba atat de

inghetata ca abia putea sa o tina in mana.

Sotul devenise cam palid, dar spuse: "Da, motanel, dar la bar au tot

felul de gustari delicioase... Nu stau mult, vin imediat. Promit. Ok?"

"Vrei gustari papusel?" Deschise cuptorul si scoase 5 tavi cu diverse

gustari aburinde (aripi de pui, ciuperci, coaste de porc...)

"Dar draga mea... la bar... stii, se mai injura, se vorbeste urat..."

"Vrei vorbe urate draga?" ..."AUZI BA PWLA! BEA-TI IN PWLA MEA BEREA IN

NENOROCITA AIA DE HALBA INGHETATA SI MANCA-TI CACATELE DE GUSTARI,

PENTRU CA ESTI INSURAT, SI NU MERGI NICIUNDE!!! CLAR NENOROCITULE?!!!"

 

...si au trait fericiti pana la adanci batraneti.

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