Hai să râdem!

[Razorbladed]

[Kosh]

 

Atât...

 

Editat Februarie 12, 2015 de Kosh

[apriliacluj]

de ce nu ai postat la animalele noastre?

[Radu H.]

 

Sper sa fie caterinca, pentru ca daca nu e, o sa primeasca o mare muje.

[PepsiMan]

 

http://olx.ro/oferta/donez-pupici-de-neuitat-de-valentines-day-ID31tXN.html?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=li2975_mi109813&utm_content=articol&utm_campaign=%5BAB%5D%3A+buyer+2&utm_term=li2975_mi109813_s699733

[G B V]

Ca tot e febra 50 shades of grey:

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=827927990595428

[abhorrer]

tocmai ce-am vazut-o si eu. e belea tipul.

 

e din germania, si nu stie romana. )

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F28Xw6ELn1I

 

Baiatu asta a fost pe la Razvan si Dani

E magician

 

Editat Februarie 12, 2015 de abhorrer

[RazvanLNI]

[TDMANDI]

lol......

[sprike]

[Error]

Asa ceva...

 

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=627087970725476

Editat Februarie 13, 2015 de Error

[Penetru]

- In ultimul timp te vad foarte prost dispus. Ai probleme ?

- Am aflat ca in curand voi fi tata.
- Si ce e rau in asta ?
- Nevasta-mea nu a aflat inca.


Mergeam cu mașina și am observat flash-ul camerei de filmat. Am ințeles ca am fost inregistrat pentru depasirea vitezei, deși știam ca nu am depașit-o. Pentru a ma convinge, am inconjurat un cartier și iarași am trecut pe acolo, cu 20 de km mai incet decat limita prevazuta, dar camera iarași m-a inregistrat. Parandu-mi-se amuzant, am mai trecut așa de inca trei ori pe acolo, de fiecare data filmand cu mobilul bordul mașinii, pentru a avea proba indubitabila a faptului ca este defecta camera rutiera de inregistrare și deja ma gandeam ca, imediat ce imi vine amenda, ii dau in judecata.
Dupa doua saptamani, prin posta primesc cinci chitante de amenda pentru ca am mers fara sa am centura de siguranta pusa.

La cate carti se scriu la inchisoare, comuna Jilava ar putea candida la Capitala Culturala Europeana!

Nu inteleg cum un barbat sanatos, cu doi rinichi, nu-i poate cumpara sotiei blana!

Daca ti-ai gasit femeia visurilor tale, ia-ti adio de la celelalte vise.

Pana nu conduci tu singur masina, n-o sa inveti niciodata sa injuri corect.

Spovedaniile bugetarilor, de regula, sunt cele mai scurte, deoarece cine nu munceste, nu greseste!

Ce fac barbatii insurati? Regreta.

Mamico, vaca zice muuu sau nuuu?
- Eh, depinde de bou…

Culmea optimismului: sa-ti astepti sotia in fata supermarketului cu motorul pornit.

- Iubitule, unde e cadoul meu?
- Iubito vezi Ferrari-ul ăla roşu de afară?
- Vai, iubitule...
- Ţi-am luat un ruj de aceeaşi culoare...

O femeie face plajă fără sutien. Sânii ei superbi atrag atenţia unui bărbat. Acesta se uită, se uită şi, în cele din urmă, încearcă să intre învorbă cu ea:
- Puteţi să-mi spuneţi cât de caldă este apa?
- Ascultă, domnule! răspunde ea iritată. Multă lume m-a luat drept târfă, dar drept termometru încă nimeni...

Secolul XVI. Printul asteapta un ravas de la iubita sa. Trei zile si trei nopti asteapta, nu mananca, nu bea, nu doarme. In sfarsit, in zare apare un porumbel voiajor.
Fericitul print scoate repede sigiliul scrisorii si citeste:" Ascut spade. Ieftin. Garantie 12 luni"

Bula povesteste prietenilor:

- Pot sa spun ca sunt un norocos.

- De ce?
- Pai, nevasta-mea tocmai mi-a spus ca, pot s-o invit pe secretara mea cea focoasa in acest weekend la noi acasa si sa fac sex cu ea cat doresc!
- Chiar asa ti-a zis?
- Ei, nu chiar cu aceleasi cuvinte. A spus ca, in acest weekend pleaca la maica-sa si ca va trebui sa ma descurc singur...

De ziua lui, soţul primeşte din partea soţiei un şampon împotriva căderii părului.
- Dar mie nu-mi cade părul, iubito...
- Nu-i nimic, dă-i-l colegei tale de serviciu, ei îi cade...

[nike]

[Metal Heart]

Aoleuuuu, Zaire, am carcei la stomac de atata ras!!!

[Kosh]

[Radu H.]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=835711789808319

 

derulati la 1:10

[D.D.]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=405156902994580

[Zven]

http://link interzis/view?i=3fe_1423761849

[Radu H.]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=326446577565338

 

la un moment dat apare si o drujba in cadru ...

[SLYther™]

[Kosh]

[jerry_mcrie]

[Kosh]

» Post actualizat in 17 Feb 2015 21:48

- Cand ma uit la soare, te vad pe tine; cat ma uit la luna, te vad pe tine; cand ma uit la mare, te vad pe tine! Da-te naibii la o parte din fata mea!


Doctor, 35 ani, doresc sa cunosc o femeie cu o reala frumusete interioara. Trimiteti radiografia.


La un bairam, un tip se ofera sa-i mai toarne whisky in pahar unei gagici.
− Nu mai vreau, fiindca imi face rau la picioare!
− Va tremura?
− Nu, mi se desfac!


O blonda la sex shop:
- Aveti vibratoare?
- Da, pe raftul al 2-lea de jos.
- Il vreau pe ala mare si rosu!
- Imi cer scuze, domnisoara, dar extinctorul nu este de vanzare!


O veverita facea sex cu doua nuci…
Vine alta si indignata de ce vede ii zice :
- Are you fucking crazy !?
- No! I’m fucking NUTS !


Primesc cereri in casatorie...
Ps : lucrez la starea civila

[reverend]

Pt un TV show in EUROPA de care ma ocup acum, am primit o scrisoare de solicitare si un CV de la un Pakistanez din PAKISTAN. Citi si va distrati. Primit pe mail acu juma de ora. E f pe bune.

 

 

 

Asif Saeed,
A-61 Sector 14-B Shadman Town,
North Karachi, Pakistan. 75850
Tel: +923000

Mr/Ms Employer,
Dear,
Your Prestigious Company,
USA

 

Re: Application for the post of Director/ Editor/ Interpreter/ Translator

Dear Mr/Ms,

I wish to apply for the position of Director/ Editor/ Interpreter/ Translator as advertised in www.mandy.com. The job reference number is ******.

I have enclosed my resume to provide you with an overview of my experience and training. I have 08 years experience working in media and a solid commitment to this important customer service field. My most recent position has provided me with two years supervisory experience as Assistant Director of more than 08 to 10 different Infotainment departments’ projects.

I wish to build on my achievements and take on a management position in this area. To assist me in this goal I have completed a one year diploma in Multimedia. As a result, I can offer you a combination of practical experience and up to date theoretical knowledge.

I would be very pleased to discuss my application further with you at your convenience. Please contact me at the above address so that I can provide you with any additional information you may require.

Yours sincerely,

Asif Saeed

This is a computer generated document so it doesn’t includes a signature.

 

 

 

Resumé

 

ASIF SAEED A-61 Sector 14-B Shadman Town

North Nazimabad, Karachi, Pakistan P.O.Box - 75850

 

 

Father's Name : Saeed Ahmed

Date of Birth : 8^th October 1980

N.I.C. # : 42101-1605018-7

Marital Status : Married

Phone : +9221-6982268

Cell Phone # : +92300 2510100

E-mail : pakpetroleo@hotmail.com

 

 

 

 

Competencies

 

Technical Capability I am an experienced Non Linear Editor (Final Cut Pro HD & Adobe Premiere) & also worked for more than 06 months as a Linear Editor. I can efficiently use camera PD-170, and have a good enough know how about audio equipments used in Recordings. I am a good graphics designer and can animate on demand, I am also a good operator of WASP Real Time Graphics software’s.

Teamwork I can work efficiently in a team environment, including autonomous decision making and team leadership where necessary.

Communication I have strong verbal communication skills in English, Urdu, German, Punjabi & Siraiki Languages which are important for a dynamic, efficient team environment.

Organizational Aptitude I have ability to follow directions, act on my own initiative where appropriate, handle pressure and manage project schedules and resources to meet deadlines and targets in a structured format.

Professional Development Success demands constant enthusiasm for ongoing learning and procedural development. I have an active personal interest in researching and learning electronic technologies in accordance with my current profession, which helps keeping up the job demands and widespread standards.

 

 

 

Asif Saeed,
A-61 Sector 14-B Shadman Town,
North Karachi, Pakistan. 75850
Tel: +923002510100

15/09/2010

Mr/Ms Employer,
Dear,
Your Prestigious Company,
USA

 

Re: Application for the post of Director/ Editor/ Interpreter/ Translator

Dear Mr/Ms,

I wish to apply for the position of Director/ Editor/ Interpreter/ Translator as advertised in www.mandy.com. The job reference number is ******.

I have enclosed my resume to provide you with an overview of my experience and training. I have 08 years experience working in media and a solid commitment to this important customer service field. My most recent position has provided me with two years supervisory experience as Assistant Director of more than 08 to 10 different Infotainment departments’ projects.

I wish to build on my achievements and take on a management position in this area. To assist me in this goal I have completed a one year diploma in Multimedia. As a result, I can offer you a combination of practical experience and up to date theoretical knowledge.

I would be very pleased to discuss my application further with you at your convenience. Please contact me at the above address so that I can provide you with any additional information you may require.

Yours sincerely,

Asif Saeed

This is a computer generated document so it doesn’t includes a signature.

 

 

 

Resumé

 

ASIF SAEED A-61 Sector 14-B Shadman Town

North Nazimabad, Karachi, Pakistan P.O.Box - 75850

 

 

Father's Name : Saeed Ahmed

Date of Birth : 8^th October 1980

N.I.C. # : 42101-1605018-7

Marital Status : Married

Phone : +9221-6982268

Cell Phone # : +92300 2510100

E-mail : pakpetroleo@hotmail.com

 

 

 

 

Competencies

 

Technical Capability I am an experienced Non Linear Editor (Final Cut Pro HD & Adobe Premiere) & also worked for more than 06 months as a Linear Editor. I can efficiently use camera PD-170, and have a good enough know how about audio equipments used in Recordings. I am a good graphics designer and can animate on demand, I am also a good operator of WASP Real Time Graphics software’s.

Teamwork I can work efficiently in a team environment, including autonomous decision making and team leadership where necessary.

Communication I have strong verbal communication skills in English, Urdu, German, Punjabi & Siraiki Languages which are important for a dynamic, efficient team environment.

Organizational Aptitude I have ability to follow directions, act on my own initiative where appropriate, handle pressure and manage project schedules and resources to meet deadlines and targets in a structured format.

Professional Development Success demands constant enthusiasm for ongoing learning and procedural development. I have an active personal interest in researching and learning electronic technologies in accordance with my current profession, which helps keeping up the job demands and widespread standards.

 

 

» Post actualizat in 18 Feb 2015 05:15

http://storage2.peteava.ro/serve/thumbnail/710938/resize

[chopperman]

Mai pe scurt?