Hai să râdem!

[cichician]

Warning: Use pick up lines at your own risk! I am not responsible if you get bitch-slapped. And if you get bitch-slapped then I have one thing to say, "HAHAHAHA!!! Loser!!" Oh come on! You know I'm kidding!!

 

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Pick up lines that could get you killed

1. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

2. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

3. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

4. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

5. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

6. You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.

7. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

8. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck.

9. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!

10. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?

11. You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!

12. Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.

13. Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?

14. I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?

15. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.

16. Guy: "Would you like to dance?"

Girl: "I don't care for this song and surely wouldn't dance with you."

Guy: "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants"

17. I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

18. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?

19. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.

20. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

21. Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield?

22. I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this motel room.

23. Wanna play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.

24. Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

25. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

26. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

27. That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

28. I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

29. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.

 

These are supposed to be better

1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.

2. Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

3. Nice legs...what time do they open?

4.Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

5. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

6. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

7. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

8. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Pink-Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?

9. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

10. Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

11. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

12. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

13. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

14. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway the heaven?

15. Hey baby, why don't you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that POPS up.

16. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

17. Are those real?

18. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

19. You can feel the magic between us...No, lower!

20. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

21. Girl, if you were a porch I'd take out all the nails and screw ya.

22. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

23. (Look down at the crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.

24. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

25. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any Questions? (I LOVE this one!!LOL)

26. Fuck me if I'm wrong but is your name Helga?

27. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

28. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

29. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

30. what's your favorite color? (answer) you'd look good naked in a tub with me!

30. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

31. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute."

32. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.--Dimitri's fav.

33. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.--Runner up

34. I know milk does a body good, but, DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

35. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

36. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? What you don't like pizza?

37. I may not be Dairy Queen but I'll treat you right.

38. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.

39. Do you sleep on your stomach at night? Can I???

40. Do you wash your pants in Windex because I can see myself in them.

41. Like Motel 6...I'll leave a light on for you.

42. If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold IT against me?

43. I lost my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this motel room.

44. If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

45. Let me check the tag on your shirt, I want to see if it says "Made in Heaven"

46. Hey nice shoes, wanna fuck? <--You never know...

47. I cant find my house, Can i sleep with you?

48. I lost my number, can i have yours?

 

 

http://www.elftown.com/_Pick%20Up%20Lines

[Smooch]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sd26jIBunZc...feature=related

[Oryon]

8. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck.

 

Saved

[grumpy]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=A3wL9YIWAhs

 

http://www.220.ro/Taranii_din_Romania_de_azi-80041.html

[m0rpheus]

Un adevarat rocker aici!

Editat Mai 27, 2008 de m0rpheus

[kcuf_di]

Un adevarat rocker aici!

Ce nu face saracu pentru mancare.

[Mjollnir]

Un adevarat rocker aici!

 

Trembling to its fall

Putting and end to it all

By storm, by force

With might... without remorse

We are here to conquer this world

 

Like cancer... our hate consumes the light of elysium

Unstoppable force of demonic supremacy

All destroying...all devouring

Heaven now ravaged... scarred and empty

 

Vital Remains - Dechristianize

[grumpy]

Stiu ca a mai fost, dar e atat de tareee...

[iony]

Rusia... pentru ca nu ai voie sa faci stanga de pe Str. Rosanov pe Str. Khoroshev ai o singura varianta care este o adevarata calatorie frumos, frumos, dar cred ca nu as mai stii de unde am plecat... pana cand o sa avem si noi noduri d'astea (si binenteles sper ca macar vor fi gandite asa cum trebuie) mai avem mult...

Editat Mai 27, 2008 de iony

[kcuf_di]

http://www.click.ro/pe-glob/ea-s-a-maritat...idul-berlinului

[Fram-Ursul Kevlar]

Imnul EMO

 

Sunt un EMO depravat,

Am o freza de (cuvant urat),

Seman cu-n extraterestru

Si la plans yo sunt maestru!

Yo vreau sa ma sinucid

Ca la minte nu’s lucid.

Lumea spune k sunt varza,

Da' mereu am vrut sa fiu barza.

In oras yo ies machiat

Sa arat k un stricat,

In roz ma imbrac mereu...

Sunt o fata, sa mor eu!

Acum vreau sa va cant ceva

Si va spun e prea belea!

[grumpy]

Nu prea e FUN, dar...

 

Noi astia care visam mii si mii de euro salariu, noi astia care avem mii de euro, dar ne-am mai dori 1.000 in plus, noi astia care am terminat o facultate din 2000 incoace, noi astia care renuntam la facultate pentru job, noi astia licentiati, masterizati si doctorati pe banda rulanta, noi astia care lucram la o multinationala, noi astia care avem telefoane mai scumpe decat tot salariul parintilor - pe 2 luni, noi astia care nu mai avem timp in afara jobului, noi astia, corporatistii in devenire si in general,… suntem toti o generatie de ratati.

Suntem ofticati din orice, suntem morocanosi, posaci si ne punem picaturi cand avem ochii rosii. Ne enerveaza cei care sunt la fel de suparati ca noi, ne enerveaza si cei diferiti. Injuram mult, dar suntem credinciosi. Salvam Rosia, Vama, natura si tot ce mai e de salvat printr-un mail sau o plimbare intr-un weekend cu masina pana acolo. Ne pasa de tot ce e “eco”, de viitorul copiilor si al omenirii, dar avem becuri aprinse non-stop si un motor de 2.0 litri la masina.

Lucram in nestire, visam promovari si un bonus la salariu, dormim putin, fumam, bem cafele si energizante de ne zapacim creierii, dam banii pe prostii, pe jucarii care sa ne dea inca putin timp, pe mese proaste in restaurante costisitoare, dar aproape de job. Ne cumparam masini mai scumpe decat ne-am putea permite doar pentru iluzia apartenentei la o clasa sociala creata artificial, ne imbracam cu haine idioate, incomode, care nici nu ne stau bine - la fel ca toti cei din jurul nostru.

Ne cumparam apartamente fara sa le vedem in nu-stiu-ce-complex ca-o-conserva la cativa kilometri de oras. Platim rate 50 de ani de acum incolo. Dormim putin, ne doare capul, ne tremura mainile, ne promitem ca vom avea mai mult timp pentru noi, ca vom face mai multa miscare, ca vom sta mai putin in fata calculatorului, ca vom merge intr-o zi pe jos.

Ne place jobul pe care il avem, corporatia e mama si tatal nostru, corporatia tine loc de familie, de prieteni, de iubiti, de amanti, de tot, ne da bani pentru tot ce vrem sa cumparam si asta e tot ce conteaza. Nu stim alte reguli in afara corporatiei, nu ne intereseaza altceva, nu vrem altceva. Ne simtim impliniti. Nu stim altceva in oras decat drumul spre job, inapoi spre pat si vreo 2 cluburi. Nu vizitam nimic decat in team building.

Pentru ce? Ca sa ajungem niste legume terminate la nici 40 de ani? Ca sa ne facem scrum inca inainte de a incepe sa ardem? Pentru a ajunge intr-un pod imaginat al unei ierarhii sociale?

Ce o sa raspunda copiii nostri, stiind ca toata viata nu am facut altceva decat sa ne gandim cum sa platim rate, cand vor fi intrebati ce suntem noi?

Niste ratati…

 

 

http://www.click.ro/pe-glob/ea-s-a-maritat...idul-berlinului

 

Zidule, de tine vorbesc astia?

[Smooch]

http://www.trilulilu.ro/Balcescu/be4c6a00ce6880

[iony]

Apropo la ce e scris mai sus...

 

 

"Subsemnatul, va aduc la cunostinta hotararea irevocabila de a demisiona oficial din functia de ADULT pe care o detin acum abuziv.

Dupa o analiza detaliata a situatiei, m-am hotarat sa ma retrag si sa preiau atributiile unui copil de sase ani, cu toate drepturile si indatoririle pe care le-am avut candva, dar la care am renuntat cu prea mare usurinta.

Vreau sa desenez cu creta colorata pe strada unde locuiesc, atunci cand trec oameni maturi si importanti spre serviciu, si sa nu-mi pese de stresul lor in lupta cu minutele si traficul care ii asteapta.

Vreau sa fiu mandru de trotineta mea cea rosie, fara sa ma nterseze cat costa asigurarea pe anul viitor.

Vreau sa cred sincer ca bomboanele Tic-tac sunt mai bune decat banii, pentru ca le poti manca.

Vreau sa stau intins la umbra unui copac, cu un pahar de limonada in mana si cu ochii la norii pufosi care alearga pe cer, intrebandu-ma cu uimire de ce adultii nu fac la fel.

Vreau sa ma intorc in trecut, la vremurile cand viata era simpla.

Atunci cand tot ce stiam se rezuma la cele sapte culori, cinci poezii, zece

cifre si vocea mamei care ma chema la masa cand nu imi era foame.

Vreau inapoi, atunci cand nu imi pasa de cat de putine lucruri stiam, pentru ca nici nu stiam cat de putine stiam.

Vreau sa cred, ca odinioara, ca totul pe lumea asta este fie gratuit, fie se poate cumpara cu pretul unei inghetate la pahar.

M-am maturizat prea mult si nici nu mai stiu cand m-am trezit mare. A fost cu siguranta un abuz si imi cer iertare.

Am ajuns astfel sa aflu ceea ce nu ar fi trebuit: razboaie si purificarii etnice, copii abuzati si copii murind de foame, divorturi, droguri in licee, prostitutie, justitie corupta, politicieni de mahala, biserici de homosexuali, frati invrajbiti fara bani, ura, barfa.

Am aflat despre materialism nedialectic si mame denaturate , care isi

vand copilele de 12 ani unor animale cu chipuri de barbati, pentru un televizor de ocazie.

Ce s-a intamplat cu timpul cand aveam impresia ca moartea este un concept de poveste, ca doar imparatii batrani mor ca sa faca loc pe tron printilor tineri, casatoriti cu printese castigate in urma ultimei zmeiade?

Unde sunt anii cand mi se parea ca tot ce ti se putea intampla mai rau in lume era sa nu fii ales in echipa lui Jenica repetentul, atunci cand jucam fotbal in curtea scolii?

Vreau sa ma reintorc la vremea cand toti copiii citeau carti folositoare, cand muzica era neotravita, cand televiziunea era pentru stiri si emisiuni de familie, fara sex explicit si violenta implicita la fiecare zece secunde.

Vreau desene animate cu Donald Duck, peripetiile echipajului “Sperantei”, navigand cu “Toate panzele sus” si pe mama citindu-mi despre Iosif si fratii sai.

Ce bine era cand credeam, in naivitatea mea, ca toata lumea din jur este fericita deoarece eu eram fericit!

Promit solemn ca, imediat ce o sa-mi reiau atributiile de copil, o sa-mi

petrec dupa-amiezile catarandu-ma in copaci, calarind bicicleta varului Cristi si citind Robinson Crusoe, ascuns in coliba injghebata din ramuri si frunze de fag, in spatele gradinii.

Imi iau angajamentul ca nu o sa imi pese de ratele casei, de facturile de telefon, curent, gaze, apa, gunoi, cablu Tv si Internet, asigurari pentru masini, asigurari de sanatate, taxe anuale de proprietate, credit-carduri, iarba netaiata, computerul virusat si faptul ca masina a inceput sa vrea la mecanic.

Va asigur ca nu o sa fiu pus in incurcatura atunci cand o sa fiu intrebat:

“Ce-o sa te faci cand o sa cresti mare?”, deoarece acum stiu: vreau sa fiu COPIL.

Gata cu plecatul la serviciu cand ar trebui sa dorm si sa-l visez pe Florin Piersic - Harap Alb, gata cu stirile despre teroristi, bombe si caderi de avioane.Gata cu barfele anturajului, care nu-mi dau pace nici la biserica, gata cu hernia de disc, par grizonat, ochelari pierduti, medicamente scumpe si dinti de portelan.

Gata, stop, cedez! Demisionez din functia de ADULT. Vreau sa cred in sinceritatea zambetelor, nobletea vorbelor, o lume a cuvantului dat si respectat, a dreptatii, a pacii, a viselor implinite, a imaginatiei innobilate, a ingerilor buni si a omului dupa chipul si asemanarea Lui Dumnezeu.

Vreau sa am iarasi sase ani si jumatate .Fiti voi mari si importanti, si ocupati, si ingrijorati. Eu vreau sa cresc MIC!"

 

nu e mai bine asa?....

[Grigu]

super

 

super

[MotoRocker]

Silly and Unusual Motorcycle Names

 

1. Adonis

 

Adorn your product with the name of a handsome Greek god and you better design something striking. A good place to start would be somewhere other than this 48-cc, early 1950s motorbike, essentially the 98-pound weakling of the motorcycle universe.

 

2. Anker

 

Here's an idea: Name your sporty motorcycle after an object used to render vehicles stationary. At least this 1950s German company didn't make boats.

 

3. Stahl

 

Perhaps this was not the best choice of name for an American bike built during the motorcycle's formative -- and typically unreliable -- years, in the early 1910s.

 

4. Satan

 

Perhaps the name given to these big single-cylinder bikes from the late 1920s was acceptable in its native Czechoslovakia, but it didn't go over well on this side of the pond. Since the make only lasted one year, they apparently had a devil of a time selling them.

 

5. Thor

 

Name a bike after the Norse god of thunder, and it better live up to its

name -- and the Thor did. First produced in 1907, Thors were big 76-cubic-inch (about 1250-cc) V-twin brutes that rivaled contemporary Harley-Davidsons for speed. But due to the competitive environment, Thor ceased motorcycle production by 1920.

 

6. Honda Dream

 

Japanese manufacturers have always leaned toward whimsical names for their machines, so it was hardly a surprise when the Dream became reality in the early 1960s. When this 305-cc bike arrived on American shores with its skirted fenders, stamped-steel frame and forks, and somewhat bulbous bodywork, typical '60s names like Venom, Tiger, or Commando hardly seemed appropriate, so the Dream was born. The Dream was a surprising success and sold under the Honda emblem for nearly ten years.

 

7. Snob

 

This 1920s German bike sported a lowly 155-cc single-cylinder engine that really gave it no reason to brag.

 

8. New Motorcycle

 

A midsize bike built in France during the 1920s, one can't help but imagine an Abbott and Costello-type routine:

 

"What's that?"

"A New Motorcycle."

"Duh . . . I know it's a new motorcycle. But what is it?"

"I just told you."

"All I know is it's a new motorcycle."

"Then why did you ask?"

 

9. Silver Pigeon

 

From 1946 to 1964, these scooters were quite popular in Japan, but it's hard to imagine the name would fly in the States.

 

10. Genial-Lucifer

 

Like jumbo shrimp, the two words just don't seem to go together. Nevertheless, this French builder of small to midsize motorcycles managed to tough it out for 28 years (1928-1956), which is more than can be said for most upstarts of the period.

 

11. Juncker

 

Blame it on the language barrier, but there's no way this small French bike of the 1930s would have sold very well in the States.

 

12. Sissy

 

An Austrian company chose this name to grace a mini-scooter that lasted only one year (1957). What were they thinking?

 

13. RIP

 

Seemingly doomed from the start, this English motorcycle company was born in 1905 and gone by 1909. May it rest in peace.

 

14. Flying Merkel

 

Ridiculous as its moniker sounds, this big American bike of the early 1900s lived up to its billing, as Flying Merkels set several speed records thanks to their advanced V-twin engines.

 

15. Harley-Davidson Fat Boy

 

One of Harley-Davidson's best sellers, the Fat Boy is a beefy motorcycle, originally offered in 1990 on the company's big softail frame with a large 1340-cc V-twin engine and unique solid wheels. This bulky bike is still sold today in an even "fatter" 1584-cc form.

 

16. Whizzer Pacemaker

 

In the years after World War II, Whizzer offered a three-horsepower engine that could be bolted to a conventional bicycle to turn it into a rudimentary form of motorized transport. "Put a Whizzer on it!" trumpeted the ads, and thousands did. The company soon came out with a complete motorbike, the Whizzer Pacemaker, which some credit with starting the scooter revolution that led to the company's demise in the mid-1950s.

 

17. Wackwitz

 

Perhaps in its native Germany the name isn't so amusing, but this early 1920s maker of small "clip on" engines (much like those sold by Whizzer) lasted only two years. And one can imagine why: "Put a Wackwitz on it!" just doesn't have the same ring.

[IceLord]

Imnul EMO

 

Sunt un EMO depravat,

Am o freza de (cuvant urat),

Seman cu-n extraterestru

Si la plans yo sunt maestru!

Yo vreau sa ma sinucid

Ca la minte nu?s lucid.

Lumea spune k sunt varza,

Da' mereu am vrut sa fiu barza.

In oras yo ies machiat

Sa arat k un stricat,

In roz ma imbrac mereu...

Sunt o fata, sa mor eu!

Acum vreau sa va cant ceva

Si va spun e prea belea!

Beton Armat!

Editat Mai 28, 2008 de IceLord

[Misterio]

http://www.trilulilu.ro/AIexandru/637cb795d69dfb

 

[Smooch]

[Damutz20]

Poate l-ati mai vazut...dar e super tare! http://www.trilulilu.ro/chien/ab6470ebd4a386

Enjoy!

[bMaNiAc]

[Grigu]

tanti dansand la bara intr-un club.

fara protectia muncii

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzPXlO9ChH4...feature=related

[grumpy]

 

Acum inteleg de ce exista ciori care sunt pesti

[Just_John]

Na, ca Laba are candidat serios!!

 

 

..daca ma screm umpiculescu, sunt sigur ca-i gasesc cateva sloganuri!!

 

..jen "Noi suntem cu Muia!" "Cu incredere, cu Muia!" "Nu face Laba ce face Muia!" et caetera..

Editat Mai 29, 2008 de Just_John

[amimagz]

Na, ca Laba are candidat serios!!

 

 

..daca ma screm umpiculescu, sunt sigur ca-i gasesc cateva sloganuri!!

 

..jen "Noi suntem cu Muia!" "Cu incredere, cu Muia!" "Nu face Laba ce face Muia!" et caetera..

-Cu ce-ai votat?

-Cu muia!!