Hai să râdem!

[dot]

nici al meu nu e facut cu programe de grafica. Stiu, e foarte simplu

[grumpy]

nici al meu nu e facut cu programe de grafica. Stiu, e foarte simplu

[lautrec]

Alo ?

- Da !

- Institutul international de astrofizica, spectroscopie nucleara, prospectiuni intergalactice, studiul quasarilor si determinarea universurilor ciclice cu structura toroidala ?

- Da, noi suntem !

- Cu Gogu de la cazane, va rog.

[cicloburu]

Nume de localitati romanesti traduse in engleza:

 

Afumați - Neversober

Urlați – Gimme Some Noise

Constanța - The Steadiness

Slobozia - A Very Wrong Local Tradition

CălăraÂşi - Silly-dressed Folks on Horses

PiteÂşti - Youdohide

OneÂşti - The Sincere

HuÂşi - Shoo

BuhuÂşi - Boo

Satu-Mare - The Rather Roomy Rural Community

Slatina - Slut Tina

Târgu Frumos - The Aesthetically Pleasing Bazaar

Buzău - Really Fat Lip

Năvodari - Networkers

Dor Mărunt - Miniature Melancholy

Voluntari - Town of Unpaid Assistants

[razvanusv]

Cicloburu super tare.

 

Bula se duce la Maria acasa cu un buchet de flori. Maria duce florile in camera si pune de mancare. Iei mancau pe saturate.Ce-mai totu mergea bine. Dar la un moment dat Maria se ridica e la masa si il i-a pe Bula in camera. Ea incepe sa se dezbbrace. Se aseaza pe pat si chiar desface si picioarele aratandusi p**da spunand:

-Bula, asta este pentru flori

-Ho maria, era suficienta o vaza!!!!!!....

 

 

O grupa de spermatozoizi plecati la drum. Unul din ei zice:

-Uffff...Am obosit asa de tare...Mai e mult pana la ovule?

La care unul mai din fata:

-Da mai e drum lung...De abia am trecut de amigdale...

 

 

La scoala invatatoarea il intreaba pe Bula

-Ia zi Bula tu sti cine a introdus acupunctura in tara noastra?

-Da doamna invatatoare, Vlad Tepes.

Editat Februarie 13, 2009 de razvanusv

[lautrec]

http://woodline.com.ro/tipologii.php

[strom75]

http://www.220.ro/igzoN8RvD8/Millionaire-With-Style.html

[sailordana8]

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with 4 young mothers and their small children...

"You all have obsessions", he observed.To the first mother,Mary,he said:

- "You are obsessed with eating.You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the 2nd Mom, Ann:

- "Your obsession is money. Again,it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." He turns to the 3rd Mom,Joyce:

- "Your obsession is alcohol.This too manifests itself in your child's name,Brandy."At this point, the 4th mother, Kathy,gets up,takes her little boy by the hand and whispers."Come on, Dick,we're leaving."

 

Alo ?

- Da !

- Institutul international de astrofizica, spectroscopie nucleara, prospectiuni intergalactice, studiul quasarilor si determinarea universurilor ciclice cu structura toroidala ?

- Da, noi suntem !

- Cu Gogu de la cazane, va rog.

[Mjollnir]

nici al meu nu e facut cu programe de grafica. Stiu, e foarte simplu

 

Care e smecheria?

[SilviuCBR]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHnG13IJn_A...re=channel_page

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXhbf9gf1KA...re=channel_page

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4MuH6jbPLY...re=channel_page

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLagoHJsTZc...re=channel_page

 

[Black_horse]

O familie fericita.

[Black_horse]

 

Clar trebuie sa imi cumpar si eu revista

[andu_wasup]

Care e smecheria?

Da un ''Save as'' unde vrei tu la fisier. Click-dreapta pe fisier/Open with/Wordpad sau Notepad.

Mai departe e suficient sa citesti ca o sa intelegi.Apar undeva vitezele 100,80,60,40,20. Inlocuieste valorile cu 100.Da-i Save,aprinde o tigare si baga secunde la viteza initiala pan te plictisesti.Asta e metoda cea mai simpla.

[Special K]

Alo ?

- Da !

- Institutul international de astrofizica, spectroscopie nucleara, prospectiuni intergalactice, studiul quasarilor si determinarea universurilor ciclice cu structura toroidala ?

- Da, noi suntem !

- Cu Gogu de la cazane, va rog.

 

-Alo?

-Da!

-Institutul Ultrasecret De Proiectare A Rachetelor Intercontinentale Cu Incarcatura Bacteriologica?

-Da!

-Cu Nutzi de la Arhiva, va rog.

[amitzu]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMShvQa4SI0&feature=dir

[Crio]

Papuci

scuze dar nu apuc sa citesc in fiecare zi : Five Fingers

[SRJN]

scuze dar nu apuc sa citesc in fiecare zi : Five Fingers

 

Astia sunt buno pt. ninja.

[Mjollnir]

A Cowboy is sitting at a bar between an Indian and a Black Guy.

 

The Indian gets drunk starts crying and says, "Once we where many, but now we are few"

 

The black guy says "Yeah, well once we where few but now we are many!"

 

The Cowboy looked at the black guy and said "Well we ain't played Cowboy's and Niggers yet."

[Mjollnir]

Why do black people always have sex on their mind?

Because they have pubic hair on their head.

 

A black guy, a Muslim and wetback walk into a bar.

The bar tender looks up and says... "Get the fuck out of here."

 

Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike?

A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house.

Editat Februarie 17, 2009 de Mjollnir

[Black_horse]

 

 

 

Editat Februarie 17, 2009 de Black_horse

[grumpy]

Da un ''Save as'' unde vrei tu la fisier. Click-dreapta pe fisier/Open with/Wordpad sau Notepad.

Mai departe e suficient sa citesti ca o sa intelegi.Apar undeva vitezele 100,80,60,40,20. Inlocuieste valorile cu 100.Da-i Save,aprinde o tigare si baga secunde la viteza initiala pan te plictisesti.Asta e metoda cea mai simpla.

 

Te contrazic! Cea mai simpla este sa dai click dreapta pe joculetz si sa te duci sa fumezi o tigara

[Black_horse]

Yea aah.... baby... ride it !

[Mjollnir]

What do you do after you rape a deaf mute?

break her fingers so she can't tell anyone.

 

Q: Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza?

A:The pizza can feed a family of 4.

 

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?

A pizza doesn't scream when you throw it in the oven.

 

What do you call an old nigger?

Antique farming equipment.

 

How can you tell if a black guy is well hung?

You can't get your finger through the noose.

 

Q: how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon

A: 54, 2 in the front, 2 in the back and 50 in the ash tray

 

How come Mexico isn't in the Olympics?

Because everybody who knows how to run, jump or swim is already across the border.

 

A guy had a hobby of running over niggers. One night, he hit two at once with his car, crashing one in the front seat and bouncing the other into a nearby field. As he's trying to remove the guy from the front seat, a cop pulls up to his car.

"Looks like we've got a nasty little situation here, buddy." the cop said.

"Uh, yes, officer." The guy replied. "I'm really sorry..."

The cop interrupted, "Well, the way I see it, we can get this one in the front seat for breaking and entering, and the guy in the field for leaving the scene of an accident."

 

What did the blind, deaf, mute kid get for his birthday?

Cancer.

 

Q: what do you get when you put a baby in a box full of razor blades and kick it down a flight of stairs?

A: an erection.

 

What do you get when you mix a black guy and a mexican ?

Somone too lazy to steal.

 

What does a black kid get for his birthday?

Your bike.

 

Q: Whats the difference between a dead nigger on the highway and a dead deer?

A: the deer has skid marks in front of it.

 

Q: What do you throw at a drowning nigger?

A: His wife and kids.

 

What do you call a dead clown?

Heath Ledger

 

Have sex with a girl then do this.

You: You don't have aids do you?

Her: NO!!

You: Good, didn't want to catch that again.

 

MY GRANDPA DIED IN A CONCENTRATION CAMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he fell off a guard tower

 

Q: What's bright purple and mows my lawn?

A: It's my nigger I'll paint it however I want.

 

3 guys are on a boat, an italian, a mexican, and an american, they all decide to share what their country has most of and throw it over board,

The Italian starts off and takes a nice hot plate of pasta and throws it over board saying "we have to many of those in my country.

The Mexican pulls out a burrito and throws it over board saying "We have to many of those in my country"

The American pulls out a gun shoots the mexican and throws him overboard and says "We have to many of those in my country

 

A jew has a massive boner and he runs into the wall and goes

OUCH MY NOSE

 

An irish man walks out of a bar

 

Why do black people have white palms?

because there is a little good in everyone!

 

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because we killed the only one who had a dream.

 

So a man and his six year old daughter walk into a pharmacy. The man turns to the pharmacist and says, "I need birth control for my daughter." The pharmacist replies, "Is your daughter sexually active?"

The man replies, "No, she just lays there like her mother."

 

So I was fucking this chick and I decided to stick it in her ass. She protests and says, "Wasn't that a little presumptuous of you?" to which I replied "Isn't presumptuous a big word for a 5 year old?

 

Why's money green?

The jews pick it before it's ripe

 

Why do jews watch porn backwards?

They like the part when the hooker gives the money back.

 

Why are jews noses so big?

Because air is free.

 

A nigger and a mexican decide to find out who will fall fastest if they jump off a building. They climb a tower and jump at exactly the same time. Who wins?

Society.

 

Q: Whats the difference between jesus and a picture of jesus?

A: It only takes one nail to hang a picture.

 

Why are niggers so good at basketball?

It involves running, shooting, and stealing.

 

Why does Beyonce sing "To the left"?

Because niggers don't have rights.

 

What's white on top and black on bottom?

Society.

 

whats the difference between a woman and a washing machine? a washing machine dosn't follow you around for a week after you drop a load in it!

 

why did princess Diane cross the street?

because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

 

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowplow?

Give her a Shovel

[amitzu]

 

gizzzzaaaas, ce sadice au fost astea

[vintze]

CEA MAI BUNA POVESTIRE A ANULUI

Charlotte, Carolina de Nord

 

 

 

 

Un avocat din SUA a cumparat o cutie de tigari, foarte rare si deosebit de scumpe. Pe urma le-a asigurat, printre altele si impotriva incendiului.

 

In decurs de o luna, fumand toate tigarile din cutie si fara sa fi facut nici macar prima plata pentru polita de asigurare, avocatul a solicitat companiei de asigurari sa fie despagubit, aratand ca tigarile au fost distruse intr-o serie de "mici focuri".

 

Compania de asigurari a refuzat plata, invocand motivul evident si anume ca avocatul a fumat tigarile.

 

Avocatul a chemat in judecata compania de asigurari si A CASTIGAT.

 

Administrand probatoriul, judecatorul a fost de acord cu societatea de asigurari si anume ca cererea de despagubire era cel putin "neserioasa". Totusi, judecatorul a retinut faptul ca avocatul detinea o polita de asigurare pentru tigari care garanta ca acestea erau asigurate inclusiv impotriva foculului, fara a defini ce este considerat a fi "foc acceptabil", iar societatea de asigurari a fost obligata sa-l despagubeasca pe asigurat.

 

Decat sa treaca printr-un proces lung si costisitor, societatea de asigurare a acceptat sentinta si a platit 15.000 $ avocatului pentru pierderea tigarilor in "incendiu".

 

ACUM URMEAZA FAZA TARE

 

Dupa ce avocatul si-a incasat cecul, compania de asigurari a cerut ca acesta sa fie arestat pentru 24 de cazuri de incendiere.

 

In urma propriei cereri de despagubire si a declaratiei de la procesul anterior (folosite acum impotriva lui), avocatul a fost condamnat pentru incendiere intentionata a bunurilor sale asigurate si a fost condamnat la 24 de luni de inchisoare si o amenda de 24.000$

 

Aceasta este o povestire adevarata si a castigat Locul I la concursul "Recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest"