The Flying Dutchman

Si eu care credeam ca cel mai important este sa ajunga inapoi acasa sanatos! On topic: Bine spus, cu referire la livrarea cuplului mentionata mai sus in topic.

Confirm si aprob pozitiv. Valabil si pentru V2. On topic: OP, s-o stapanesti sanatos si fara incidente. Am vazut ce poate face, am niste prieteni italieni cam nebuni de felul lor si m-au speriat.

A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor. At the first house a woman complains, “I've been a little sick to my stomach.” The older doctor says, “Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?” As they left, the younger man said, “You didn't even examine that woman? How'd you come to the diagnosis so quickly?” “I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what probably was making her sick.” The younger doctor said, “Pretty clever. If you don't mind, I think I'll try that at the next house.” Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She said that she just didn't have the energy she once did and said, “I'm feeling terribly run down lately.” “You've probably been doing too much for the church,” the younger doctor told her. “Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.” As they left, the elder doctor said, “I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is most certainly correct, she's very active in the church, but how did you arrive at it?” “I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and, when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the priest under the bed.”

Acopera carburatorul cu folie de plastic sau aluminiu ca sa fii linistit. Schimba bujia. Schimba fisa.

Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives. One woman said, “I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does.” The second woman giggled and confessed, “I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft.” The third woman quietly sipped her whiskey until her friend asked, “Say, what do you call your husband?” She frowned and said, “The postman.” “Why the postman?” “Because he always delivers late, and half the time it's in the wrong box.”

Nu inchideti nimic pana nu ne lamurim! Despre ce inele este vorba, bre Zoli? Saibe/washers, jicloare/nozzles, sau inele de logonda? Pozele sunt binevenite.

God received a delegation of animals complaining of their lot in life. There was an elephant, a giraffe, and a hen. The elephant complained, “Lord, I HATE THIS TRUNK YOU have given me. It gets in the way, and makes me look like a fool”! The Lord said, “Don't complain. It lets you pick up food, drink water, etc. without getting wet”! Next the giraffe complained, “Lord, I HATE THIS LONG NECK! It makes me top heavy, I get terrible neck pains, and people laugh at me”! The Lord said, “Don't complain. It lets you pick the best fruit and leaves from the high branches, and allows you to see a distance”. Then the hen spoke up, “Lord, I don't want to complain… but either let me have a bigger ass or smaller eggs”.

All tests came back looking good, and the doctor sits down to discuss the results with the patient. “Well, Eric, physiologically everything looks good. How are you doing emotionally and mentally? Are you feeling content, and how's your faith these days? “God and I are on great terms. He knows that I see so poorly these days, so now whenever I go to the bathroom at night, then ‘poof' - the light turns on! And when I'm done peeing, then ‘poof' - the light turns off again!” “Fantastic! That sounds marvelous,” says the doctor. A couple of days later the doctor calls Eric's wife: “Good day, Anna. Eric's vitals are looking good, and he seems to be doing well. The reason for my call is his relation to God. Is it really true that whenever he goes to empty his bladder at night, then ‘poof' - the bathroom light turns on? And when he's done, then ‘poof' - the light turns off again?” Eric's wife sighs: “That old fool. He has started peeing in the fridge again…”

One day this girl, who is wearing a skirt, goes out to play with her friends. She goes to the park and meets a boy. They talk about climbing trees. The boy says to the girl: “Go on climb that tree.” The girls climbs up and the boy just stands there and looks up to the girls pants. After a while the girl goes home and tells her mum about what happened. Her mum says: “Oh, my stupid girl, he just stood there and watched your pants.” The next day she went out again with her skirt on and met that boy again. He told her to climb again and she did. When she got home she tells her mum what happened again and her mum says: “My stupid girl, he just stood there and watched your pants.” The girl replied and said: “No, actually I tricked him, this time I did not wear any pants!”

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. So the new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, “ok, old fart, time to retire.” The old rooster replies, “come on, you can't handle ALL these chickens, look what it's done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?” The young rooster says, “Scram! Beat it! You're washed up and I'm taking over.” The old rooster says, “I'll tell you what, young stud, I'll race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.” The young rooster laughs. “You know you don't stand a chance old man, so just to be fair, I'll give you a head start.” So, they get a chicken to cluck “Go!”, and the old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He's already about five feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs up his shotgun and BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head, “Dang it… third gay rooster I bought this month.”

La multi ani Sanda, aka @Culbutor!

The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on the mobile. The wife said, ”Where are you, you know we have lots to do?!” He said, “You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?” Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all choked up. “Yes, I do remember that shop….” she replied. “Well I am in the bar next to that.”

Asta si aplicatia pe telefon si esti gata.

When Fred found out he was going to inherit a fortune, when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. “I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said as he walked up to her, “but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars.” Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother.

Salut! In loc sa te complici cu asa ceva, mai bine iti instalezi o aplicatie cu posturi radio pe telefonul mobil si ai rezolvat-o cu costuri zero.

Good point!

Eternele discutii de pe forum in urma unui accident. Daca a fost un necunoscut e selectie naturala. Daca a fost cineva cunoscut, e de vina guvernul Vacaroiu sau Stefan cel Mare. Daca mai era si membru fruntas pe forum, oricine poate fi de vina in afara impricinatului.

Il scurteaza in distanta sau in timp?

In a convent in Kenya, the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, they held the glass to her lips. The frail nun drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop. As her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader… “Mother.” The nuns asked earnestly. “Please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us.” She raised herself up in bed on one elbow, looked at them and said: “DON'T SELL THAT COW.”

Reciproca e valabila.

Three old men were sitting on a bench when a reporter approached them. “I wonder if you three would be willing to do an interview and tell me your secret to long life,” the reporter asked. The three old men agreed and the reporter asked the first old man his secret to long life. “I never drank alcohol, I never smoked tobacco and I have been married to the same woman for fifty years.” “That's really remarkable!” said the reporter, “And how old are you?” “I'm 93,” said the first old man. The second man was asked the same question on his secret to long life. “I drank on occasion, I smoked, but not often and I dated some.” “And how old are you?” asked the reporter. “I'm 91,” said the second old man. Finally, the reporter approached the third old man and asked his secret to a long life. “I dated every woman that would go out with me, I drank until I passed out and I smoked three packs of cigarettes a day.” “Wow!” said the reporter, “And how old are you?” “29,” replied the third man.

A group of male friends, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts. Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons because the waitresses were attractive. The food and service was good and the beer selection was excellent. Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace and quiet with no loud music, and it was good value for money. Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons because the restaurant had no steps and had a toilet for the disabled. Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons because they had never been there before.

Nu e Goaie, asta care a dat coltu' pare mai tanar din ce am citit in "presa noastra de ziare". https://hotnews.ro/motociclist-decedat-in-urma-unui-accident-de-circulatie-in-sectorul-4-din-capitala-1753903

Experienta mea pe scutere electrice este zero, asa ca nu pot sa exprim o parere competenta in ce priveste fiabilitatea lor. Probabil ca sunt facute in Asia, da.

La mulțean @Lucian_M!