Hai să râdem!

[sharpe]

Chuck Norris Google search

 

masina lu Base:

 

PS: treaba cu politicienii aia nu e fun deloc

[Ralucone]

Lasand asta deoparte....

 

HOW TO ASK YOUR BOSS FOR A SALARY INCREASE..?

 

 

 

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary !!

 

Dear Bo$$

 

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company. I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

 

Your$ $incerely,

Norman $oh

 

 

 

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:

 

 

Dear NOrman,

 

 

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into a NOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

 

Yours truly,

Manager

[klu]

The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.

 

 

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"

Witness: "I only have one, you know."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"

Witness: "By death."

Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"

The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.

 

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"

Witness: "July 15th."

Lawyer: "What year?"

Witness: "Every year."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?"

Witness: "There was a rifle that belonged to my father that was stolen from the hall closet."

Lawyer: "Can you identify the rifle?"

Witness: "Yes. There was something written on the side of it."

Lawyer: "And what did the writing say?"

Witness: "'Winchester'!"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"

Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"

Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."

Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"

Witness: "Er...his face."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"

Witness: "Yes."

Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"

Witness: "I forget."

Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"

Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."

Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"

Witness: "Forty-five years."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"

Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"

Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"

Witness: "My name is Susan."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Sir, what is your IQ?"

Witness: "Well, I can see pretty well, I think."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Did you blow your horn or anything?"

Witness: "After the accident?"

Lawyer: "Before the accident."

Witness: "Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?"

Witness: "Yes."

Lawyer: "Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?"

Witness: "Yes, sir."

Lawyer: "What did she say?"

Witness: "'What disco am I at?'"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"

Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."

Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"

Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "And you check your radar unit frequently?"

Officer: "Yes, I do."

Lawyer: "And was your radar unit functioning correctly at the time you had the plaintiff on radar?"

Officer: "Yes, it was malfunctioning correctly."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "What happened then?"

Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"

Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"

Witness: "No."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"

Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "How long have you been a French Canadian?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."

Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"

Witness: "I went to Europe, sir."

Lawyer: "And you took your new wife?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."

Witness: "That's me."

Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"

Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."

Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"

Witness: "Yes."

Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?"

Witness: "Four times."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Do you have any children or anything of that kind?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"

Witness: "Yes."

Lawyer: "How many were boys?"

Witness: "None."

Lawyer: "Were there girls?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"

Witness: "Yes."

Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Have you lived in this town all your life?"

Witness: "Not yet."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: (realizing he was on the verge of asking a stupid question) "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Eddington at the Rose Chapel?"

Witness: "It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30pm."

Lawyer: "And Mr. Eddington was dead at the time, is that correct?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"

Witness: "Borofkin."

Lawyer: "What's his first name?"

Witness: "I can't remember."

Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"

Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"

Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.

Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"

Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.

Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"

Witness: "No."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?"

Witness: "No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "What is your marital status?"

Witness: "Fair."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Are you married?"

Witness: "No, I'm divorced."

Lawyer: "And what did your husband do before you divorced him?"

Witness: "A lot of things I didn't know about."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "And who is this person you are speaking of?"

Witness: "My ex-widow said it.

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?"

Witness: "Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children by Dr. Cherney and said he was really good."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"

Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"

Witness: "Yes sir."

Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"

Witness: "No. This is how I dress when I go to work."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

The Court: "Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present information and prejudice from your minds, if you have any."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Did he pick the dog up by the ears?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "What was he doing with the dog's ears?"

Witness: "Picking them up in the air."

Lawyer: "Where was the dog at this time?"

Witness: "Attached to the ears."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"

Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?"

Witness: "Oral."

Lawyer: "How old are you?"

Witness: "Oral."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "What is your relationship with the plaintiff?"

Witness: "She is my daughter."

Lawyer: "Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"

Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."

Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?"

Witness: "He didn't offer me nothing. He just said I could have the furniture."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?"

Witness: "I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital."

Lawyer: "It was covered?"

Witness: "Yes, bandaged."

Lawyer: "Then, later on...what did you see?"

Witness: "I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"

Witness: "I could see his head."

Lawyer: "And where was his head?"

Witness: "Just above his shoulders."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Do you drink when you're on duty?"

Witness: "I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"

Witness: "The victim lived."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it? You too were shot in the fracas."

Witness: "No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Lawyer: "Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?"

Witness: "Because he was argumentary, and he couldn't pronunciate his words."

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Magic4Ce]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuMMfgWhm3g

[UnknownRider]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=UnbLiZ3FCFY

 

[Philip_HD]

... beutura, bat-o vina!

(... o "lady" in Vama Veche"... )

[Ralucone]

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=2T5_0AGdFic&NR=1

 

Noul cut la vechiul film cu Mary Poppins. Cineva s-a gandit sa transforme filmul de copii in groaza pentru copii. Dovada ca trailerul cu adevarat vinde filmul...

[logan]

vazut.....brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[nice_sun_man]

[FLAMINGO]

Nu stiu daca s-a mai zis. L-am auzit ieri la munte...

 

Pe usa toaletei dintr-o cabana oarecare din Ro era un scris mesaj scurt.

Atentie la ursi. S-au gasit urme de laba.

[grumpy]

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=2T5_0AGdFic&NR=1

 

Noul cut la vechiul film cu Mary Poppins. Cineva s-a gandit sa transforme filmul de copii in groaza pentru copii. Dovada ca trailerul cu adevarat vinde filmul...

 

 

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=KmkVWuP_sO0

Asta e si mai tare!!! E reversul...

[Ralucone]

 

Si daca "The Ring" era o drama tulburatoare care-ti smulgea o lacrima?

 

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=SgxayErS5As&...feature=related

 

Si daca "Top Gun" era un altfel de love story?

 

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ekXxi9IKZSA&...feature=related

Editat Decembrie 3, 2007 de Ralucone

[grumpy]

 

Si daca "The Ring" era o drama tulburatoare care-ti smulgea o lacrima?

 

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=SgxayErS5As&...feature=related

 

Si daca "Top Gun" era un altfel de love story?

 

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ekXxi9IKZSA&...feature=related

 

Deci, e GENIAL facut acest trailer!!! Jos palaria in fata celui care l-a materializat!

 

--- Mesaj completat în 03 Dec 2007 20:07 -------------
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=EsNyiB2J1Gk&...feature=related - matricecs

[Avent]

 

MĂĄrie se suie in pom sa culeaga mere.

Ion, mare smecher, ii fura scara si o intreaba:

- MĂĄrie, ... cu ce te dai jos?

- Cu Rexona.

[DariusB]

Trei tipi: un roman, un tigan si un ungur pescuiesc. La un moment dat li se incurca unditele si prind toti 3 un pestisor de aur. Pestisorul le zice ca din cauza ca toti 3 l-au scos din apa, va indeplini o singura dorinta la fiecare.

Ungurul zice: eu vreau ca toti ungurii sa fie in Ungaria si sa fie bogati si fericiti. Dispare.

Tiganul zice: eu vreau ca toti tiganii sa fie in India fericiti, bogati. Dispare.

Romanul se uita in toate partile si il intreba pe pestisor:

- Ungurii is in Ungaria?

- Da.

- Toti?

- Da.

- Si tiganii in India?

- Da.

- Toti?

- Da.

Se uita la pestisor si zice :

- Mie da-mi o cola.

[grumpy]

M.L., românca emigrata de 15 ani in Canada, cetatean model al noii sale

patrii, duce peste Ocean o viata linistita, mic-burgheza. Isi vede de

serviciu, de familie si de casa enorma, cu piscina, pentru care plateste la

banca rate care ar cocosa zece români la un loc. Pentru ca, in Canada, cei

mai cunoscuti români sint Leonard Doroftei si Lucian Bute, nu Mailat si

compania, originile ei sint privite cu bunavointa si chiar cu simpatie. Pina

intr-una din zilele trecute, cind româncei emigrata in Canada i-a inghetat,

pentru citeva secunde, inima-n piept. Seful ei, un italian emigrat, la

rindul sau, in Canada, a navalit peste ea in birou si i-a pus o intrebare pe

care spera din tot sufletul sa n-o auda niciodata:

"Ai auzit ce-au facut românii tai?".

Femeii, care-si facea treaba excelent la slujba, motiv pentru care fusese

promovata in mai multe rinduri, i s-a urcat tot singele-n cap.

"Da` italienii tai ce-au facut, ma, cind au venit in America? Cine a

inventat mafia americana? Bai, da` ce tupeu de macaronar nenorocit ai!

Poate-mi spui si mie ce fac italienii tai prin România. Vestejiti libidinosi

si tepari, astia-s italienii din România. Va` fa`nculo, fraiere!".

Fiind vorba, totusi, de seful ei, românca n-a spus toate astea decit in

gind. Cu voce tare, s-a prefacut ca habar n-are:

"Nu stiu. Ce-au facut?".

Mirat ca asemenea vesti n-au ajuns pina in Canada, italianul a lamurit-o:

"Cum nu stii? V-ati calificat la Euro.Felicitari!".

"Ai dracu` italienii astia", a suspinat femeia, in urma lui. "Intotdeauna

galanti...".

 

 

--- Mesaj completat în 04 Dec 2007 10:14 -------------
http://www.220.ro/Politistul_tupeist-35980.html

[roolrevolv]

Dimineata, in drum spre serviciu, un evreu vede in statia de tramvai un domn bine facut si foarte bine imbracat.

 

Prezenta lui il intriga.

 

Un domn astfel imbracat nu se duce la serviciu la aceasta ora a diminetii;

 

daca nu se duce, inseamna ca vine;

 

de unde poate veni in zori de zi un domn astfel imbracat decât de la o dama;

 

un domn bine vine de la o dama bine;

 

la noi in cartier sunt trei dame bine:

 

Natasa, care-i insa plecata la Leningrad ,

 

Rashela, dar de la ea vin chiar eu,

 

si sotia mea.

 

Sotia mea are trei amanti: directorul ei (firesc), directorul meu (normal), si pe un oarecare domn Abramovici.

 

- Buna dimineata, domnule Abramovici!

 

- Buna dimineata. Dar de unde ma cunoasteti?

 

- Simpla deductie.

[grumpy]

P*izdaaaaa

[Oryon]

Rock. Robot Rock.

[DariusB]

Three guys were sitting in a bar, talking. One was a doctor, one was a lawyer, and one was a biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure that if she doesn't like the diamond ring, she will at least like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer replied, "Well, on my last anniversary, I got my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured that if she didn't like the pearls, she would at least like the trip, and she would know that I love her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah? Well, for my anniversary, I got my old lady a T-shirt and a vibrator. I figured that if she didn't like the T-shirt, she could go fuck herself."

[sharpe]

Un alpinist neasigurat sta sa cada de pe un perete de stanca.

Abia se mai tine cu o mana deasupra haului.

Se uita la cer si striga disperat:

- Doamne, e cineva acolooo ??! Se aude o voce grava:

- Da, fiule!

- Ce sa fac, sa nu ma zdrobesc de pamant?

- Roaga-te sa-ti fie iertate pacatele si desprinde-te de stanca fara teama.

Se gandeste putzin alpinistul, apoi stiga iar:

- Altcineva mai e acolo ???!

 

 

Intr-un compartiment de tren stau cativa tineri si un evreu.

Deodata intra o blonda sexy iar baietii isi fac semne intre ei.

Evreul vazand ii intreaba daca vor ca el sa le aranjaze ceva cu blonda. Sigur spun ei.

Evreul se duce sa vorbeasca cu ea, si le spune baietilor ca treaba e aranjata. Ea vrea cate 100.000 lei de centimetru ....

Accepta ei, ies din compartiment, inta unul cate unul si fiecare care iese e intrebat cat a platit.

2.000.000, 2.500.000, 2.400.000 s.a.m.d.

Iese si evreul si ii intrebat cat a platit.

- 300.000 spune el.

- Cum asa?

- Fratilor, depinde cand ati masurat, raspunde evreul.

[Sanchez]

Rock. Robot Rock.

Care e treaba cu jucaria asta?

Am avut si eu una identica.

[Oryon]

O am eu acasa. Adusa de prin belgia sau austria, nu mai tin minte.

 

Tare rau

[Ralucone]

Jurnalul lui Poponetz

 

(de Mihai Morar Blog.Hotnews.ro)

 

Marți, 4 decembrie 2007, 17:34

 

 

 

13.00. M-am trezit. Mai mergeau doua ore de nanel. Dar de doua zile se schimba bordurile la noi, in Dorobanti, si mereu ma trezesc picamerele la ore de astea, matinale.

 

13.15. Ma sui pe cantar. 55 kilograme. Apoi ma duc la tocul usii. Ma masor. 1,65. Nu m-am mai inaltat de ieri pana azi. Ma uit in oglinda de la baie. Imi place ce vad. Esentele tari se tin in sticlute mici. Ma urc in cada sa fac un dus scotian. La naiba! Ce lipicios sunt! Azi noapte banuiesc ca iar m-am batut cu Don Perignon in Bamboo. N-a fost vina mea! Costelush a inceput! Bataia cu sampanie e cerinta obligatorie pentru noi, baietii de oras. Asta inseamna lipici la fete!

 

13.20. Ma suna Corina. Al zecelea missed call. De data asta nu mai suport. Ii dau reject. Ca sa ma ierte c-am tradus-o vineri in Cabaret cu hostessa aia bruneta de la SIAB, imi cere un weekend de shopping la Milano. Nu-i raspund azi. Astept pana maine sa vad daca imi baga tata banii pe card.

 

14.00 Plec la cafea in Dorobanti, la BT Cafe. Dilema. Iau masina din garaj? Cum dracu sa n-o iau. As face cinci minute pe jos de-acasa pana acolo. Da’ sa-mi las Lamborghiniul in garaj e ca si cum ala de-mi vorbea Elena ca e prieten cu tac’su, de-l poreclesc astia Plesu ar veni la targul de carte fara papion. Sau ala e Patapievici…Nu stiu. Dracu sa-i ia! Elena ii stie ca ea s-a bagat in politica.

 

14.30 Caut de un sfert de ora loc de parcare in Dorobanti. Am gasit unul pe Putul lui Zammfir, da’ nu e bine ca acolo nu-mi vede nimeni calutul cabrat. Trebuie neaparat sa parchez pe Radu Beller, in fata cafenelelor. E imposibil traficul in Bucuresti. Ajung cu intarziere la toate intalnirile importante. O sa vorbesc cu Elena sa-i spuna lu’ tac’su sa-l demit ape Tariceanu din functia de primar al Capitalei.

 

14.45. Rasfoiesc ziarele cu Andrei. Iar n-am aparut nici azi nicaieri. Andrei e peste tot. Ii explic ca trebuie sa o rup cu Corina. Relatia mea cu un manechin mediocru nu-i mai intereseaza nici pe chelnerii de la BT. Imi trebuie ceva care sa ma reinventeze ca subiect de prima pagina. Andrei imi zice sa mai am rabdare ca poate in ianuarie o sa prinda si Corina o emisiune la televiziune. La naiba! Lui ii e usor sa vorbeasca. Ce-i pasa…?! Se iubeste cu fiica Marinarului.

 

17.00 Sunt tot la BT. A plecat Andrei. Acum stau cu Costelush. Fumam Cohiba. Intre timp au mai trecut pe la masa: Claudiu, fiul avocatului, Sida, Ciuhaua. Ne gandim ce facem in seara asta. Asta vrea la Casa Di David, eu ii zic ca ar fi mai productiv sa mergem la prezentarea de moda. Stau de trei ore la cafenea si am obosit. Cre’ca ma dus sa ma culc. M-am saturat sa stau pe uscat si sa astept. Picior de paparazzo n-a trecut azi prin Dorobanti.

 

20.00 Sunt chiaun. M-a trezit tata cand a venit acasa. Ma ia cu texte aburite: ca n-am fost in stare azi nici macar sa platesc cablul si lumina…Bai, ma scutesti?!? Da’ ce sunt eu…am ajuns la aproape 30 de ani ca sa fiu baiatul vostru de mingi. De trei saptamani ma chinui sa duc Lamborginiul la reprezentanta sa-i cipuiasca motorul, n-apuc sa-mi vad capul de treburi si el ma ia cu facturile la utilitati.

 

22.00 Ma plicti la fashion show. Dau spaga la plasator ca sa-mi dea loc in primul rand si vad aceleasi manechine obosite. 90 la suta dintre ele mai au inca parfumul impregnat in tetiera scaunului din dreapta al masinii mele. Trebuie sa evadez. Am ajuns sa ma invart in cerc.

 

1.30. Am masa rezervata in Gaia. Aceiasi prieteni, aceleasi fete, aceleasi coperti Playboy, aceleasi centerfolduri Penthouse, aceeasi muzica, aceiasi chelneri, aceiasi 2000 de euro pe nota de plata. Cum zicea un mos actor o data la o gala de premiere – Banica sau Dinica, nu-i retin bine numele: ‘’Tara mica, mese putine, toata lumea se fute cu toata lumea’’. Macar de-ar intelege lumea ca am si eu o varsta, un statut social, nu mai suport sa mi se spuna Poponet. Vreau o schimbare! Mi-a ajuns viata de partz!

[sharpe]

Jurnalul lui Poponetz

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Cine e Poponetz asta? A devenit trendy sa scri ce face cineva de dimineata pana seara...mai era unu p-aici ca: "m-am scarpinat in kur, mi-am luat tigari, nu era apa calda..."

 

 

 

One day little Johnny heard a noise and peeked into his parents room to

check it out.

He opened the door to see his mom bent over the dresser and dad going at

it behind her. Johnny's dad saw him and gave him a little wink as Johnny

closed the door. After business was finished Dad went to check on little

Johnny. He opened his bedroom door to find Grandma bent over the dresser

and little Johnny going at it behind her. Dad yelled, 'Johnny, what the

hell are you doing?!' Little Johnny replied, 'It's not so funny when its

your mom, is it?!'