Hai să râdem!

[mihaiand]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jf5muXeATpc

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jf5muXeATpc

 

ce face din om

[moz]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TXjtbl2y3U

[grumpy]

Aduc multumirile mele tuturor celora care mi-au trimis e-mail-uri in anul

ce se apropie de final.......

Tin neaparat sa multumesc si aceluia care mi-a trimis unul despre rahatul

de soarece amestecat in lipiciul plicurilor pentru ca acum folosesc un

prosop umed la fiecare plic ce trebuie lipit.

Deasemenea,acum frec cu peria partea superioara a fiecarei conserve pe

care o deschid,din acelasi motiv.

Nu mai am deloc economii deoarece le-am donat toate unei fete bolnave (

Penny Brown );care este pe patul de moarte intr-un spital pentru a

1.387.258 oara.

 

Nu mai am de fapt niciun ban,dar situatia se va schimba odata ce voi primi

fondul de 15.000 $ pe care Bill Gates/Microsoft si AOL mi-l vor trimite

pentru ca am participat la programul lor special de e-mail-uri...

 

Sau de la functionarul superior al bancii din Nigeria care vrea sa imparta

cu mine 7 milioane $ pretinzand ca sunt o ruda indepartata a unui client

decedat fara testament

 

Nu- mi mai fac nicio problema legata de sufletul meu pentru ca am 363.214

ingeri pazitori care vegheaza asupra mea,si Sfanta Maica Tereza imi

indeplineste orice dorinta.

 

Nu mai folosesc deodorantele cauzatoare de cancer,chiar daca miros ca un

bivol intr-o zi fierbinte.

Va multumesc,

 

Am invatat ca rugaciunile mele vor primi raspuns daca dau mai departe

e-mail-ul catre sapte dintre prietenii mei si sa-mi pun o dorinta in cinci

minute.

 

Datorita grijii ce mi-o purtati nu mai beau Coca-Cola deoarece dizolva

depunerile din toaleta.

Nu mai cumpar benzina fara sa am un prieten care sa-mi pazeasca masina

astfel incat un criminal in serie nu se poate urca pe banca din spate in

timp ce eu alimentez.

 

Nu mai ma duc la targuieli in marile magazine deoarece cineva ma va

paraliza cu un aftershave de proba si ma va jefui.

 

Nu mai raspund la telefon deoarece cineva ma va pune sa formez un numar

pentru care voi primii o nota de plata pentru convorbiri cu Jamaica ,

Uganda , Singapore si Uzbekistan .

Multumita voua ,nu mai pot folosi toaleta altuia decat a mea deoarece un

mare paianjen maro African sta ascuns sub colac gata sa ma omoare

instantaneu cu muscatura lui plasata pe fundul meu.

 

Si multumita importantelor voastre sfaturi,

Nici nu mai pot ridica bancnota de 50 pe care am gasit-o in parcare pentru

ca probabil a fost plasata acolo de un maniac sexual care asteapta sub

masina sa ma traga de picioare.

 

Daca nu trimeti acest e-mail la cel putin 144.000 de persoane in

urmatoarele 70 de minute, un porumbel urias suferind de diaree va ateriza

pe capul tau la 17.00 in dupa amiaza urmatoare iar mustele de la 12 camile

iti vor infecta spatele si va duce la cresterea unei cocoase paroase.

 

Apropo...un cercetator Sud-American dupa studii indelungate a descoperit

ca oamenii cu un coeficient de inteligenta scazut si care au activitate

sexuala rara,citesc e-mail-urile cu mana pe mouse.

 

Nu te obosi s-o ridici acum...

E prea tarziu!!!

 

--- Mesaj completat în 11 Jan 2008 11:56 -------------
Sau asa http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI

 

--- Mesaj completat în 11 Jan 2008 12:30 -------------
http://www.findyourfate.com/deathmeter/deathmtr.html

[Dan_Dumitrescu]

Cautati pe google "chuck norris google" si apasati "I'm feeling lucky"....

[Wan Ted]

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

 

 

 

Your last name stays put.

 

The garage is all yours.

 

Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

 

You can never be pregnant.

 

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

 

The world is your urinal.

 

You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky.

 

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

 

Same work, more pay.

 

Wrinkles add character.

 

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

 

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

 

One mood all the time.

 

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

 

You know stuff about tanks and engines.

 

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

 

You can open all your own jars.

 

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

 

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public.

 

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

 

Everything on your face stays its original colour.

 

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

 

You only have to shave your face and neck.

 

You can play with toys all your life.

 

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.

 

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

 

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

 

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

 

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

 

No wonder men are happier.

[Magic4Ce]

[nice_sun_man]

- Bula ce ai vrea sa iti scrie pe cruce, dupa ce mori?

- Ceva simplu si concis.

- Ca de exemplu?

- Vin imediat!

[brocko]

Doua blonde . . .. . . .Alexa :Fata ma invitat Cata la majoratu lui... Ana: Cati ani face?... Alexa: de unde dreacu vrei sa stiu ?

[Cycler]

In Caracal in fata unui bloc cu 10 etaje, un taran cosea linistit iarba ...hrrrsssht .. hrrrsssht ...

Deodata apare in zbor un deltaplan, care purtat de o pala de vand se izbeste de bloc pe la etajul 6-7 si se prabuseste in fata taranului.

Taranul : "Tara de rahat , atentate de rahat ! "

Editat Ianuarie 16, 2008 de Cycler

[ray]

Ati mai vazut Ferrari tractat de Tico? asta e ceva de genu "culmile legilor lui Murphy"

 

Click aici!

[FLAMINGO]

Romanul de rand, care traieste de pe o zi pe alta, nu are ce manca, nu are cu ce se imbraca, este inglodat in datorii dar cu toate astea, isi cumpara masina clasa lux. Asa patesc toti cei care se intind mai mult decat ii tine plapuma. Masina scumpa a vrut, masina scumpa a avut. Cand nu te gandesti o secunda cat te pot costa reparatiile la o astfel de masina in cazul in care se strica una-alta, asta patesti.

[monsteristu']

iete si la proasta asta

http://fulgerica.com/2008/01/16/i-think-sh...mate/#more-1702

[RTF]

Doua poze surprinse asta-toamna.

"Sex in grup" si "Ce fac eu sa faca toti"

 

Mie mi s-au parut amuzante.

[SnapShot]

iete si la proasta asta

http://fulgerica.com/2008/01/16/i-think-sh...mate/#more-1702

Nice bewbiez. Pacat ca sarmana e deficitara masiv la capitolul encefal.

[mahasp1]

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=j6UoVlfGnv8&...feature=related

 

 

 

saracii

 

 

LE:http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ASynR3KSA2Y&NR=1

 

mi s-au parut foarte funny

Editat Ianuarie 16, 2008 de mahasp1

[sil3nt_control]

Doua poze surprinse asta-toamna.

"Sex in grup" si "Ce fac eu sa faca toti"

 

Mie mi s-au parut amuzante.

 

 

dog orgy , tot tacamu, limbi, duble... grup

[B.B.]

Povesti adevarate din lumea celor care ofera ajutor la telefon clientilor de servicii/produse IT. Nu va minunati, sunt cat se poate de reale :

 

True stories from the Helpdesk...

 

1) Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Helpdesk: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.

Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: OK

Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged In.

 

2) Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry. Internet Explorer

 

3) Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

 

4) Customer: "I'm having a problem installing your software. I've got a fairly old computer, and when I type 'INSTALL', all it says is 'Bad command or file name'."

Tech Support: "Ok, check the directory of the A: drive-go to A:> \ and type 'dir'."

Customer reads off a list of file names, including 'INSTALL.EXE'.

Tech Support: "All right, the correct file is there. Type 'INSTALL' again."

Customer: "Ok." (pause) "Still says 'Bad command or file name'."

Tech Support: "Hmmm. The file's there in the correct place-it can't help but do something. Are you sure you're typing I-N-S-T-A-L-L and hitting the Enter key?"

Customer: "Yes, let me try it again." (pause) "Nope, still 'Bad command or file name'."

Tech Support: (now really confused) "Are you sure you're typing I-N-S-T-A-L-L and hitting the key that says 'Enter'?"

Customer: "Well, yeah. Although my 'N' key is stuck, so I'm using the 'M' key...does that matter?

 

5) Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

 

6) Customer: "So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?"

Tech Support: "Yeah."

Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"

Tech Support: "Uhh...uh...uh...yeah."

 

7) Customer: "My computer crashed!"

Tech Support: "It crashed?"

Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."

Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."

Customer: "No, it didn't crash -- it crashed."

Tech Support: "Huh?" Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. Now it doesn't work."

Turned out, the user was playing Lunar Lander and crashed his spaceship.

Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"

Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"

 

8) The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine."

 

9)This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say the help

desk employee was fired; however, the employee is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "termination without cause." This is from the taped conversation leading up to dismissal:

 

"WordPerfect Technical Desk, may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type!"

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power

cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

".......Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"....... Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in through the window"

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you

still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too f--king stupid to own a computer."

[Cycler]

O zi din viata unui emo

[nice_sun_man]

Deodata, desi pe jumatate adormita, ea simti mangaierile lui. La inceput timide, ca si cum i-ar fi fost rusine. Apoi, mangaierile devenira mai indraznete. Mai mult, si mai mult, pe tot corpul ei, mainile lui se plimbau cu nesat asa cum se intimpla... nu-si aducea aminte exact, cam cu 4-5 ani in urma. Senzatii pe care le credea uitate se intorceau. Memoria sentimentelor era vie, si o ajuta sa raspunda la fel. Mangaierile se ingramadeau, se repetau, el o invaluia, o intorcea. Acum era ca un virtej de senzatii de nedescris. Deodata... NIMIC. ABSOLUT NIMIC - Ce s-a intimplat? intreaba ea, surprinsa. Te rog, nu te opri, mai vreau! - Shhhh... incerca el sa o linisteasca, gata, am terminat! - Cum adica ai terminat??? - Gata, AM GASIT TELECOMANDA, dormi linistita!

[almilitaru]

http://www.intelligent-ideas.com/dancing-dog

[Philip_HD]

Rooftop

http://www.totallycrap.com/videos/videos_c...london_rooftop/

[sil3nt_control]

http://www.intelligent-ideas.com/dancing-dog

 

 

 

Cainele raper

[cristi_q]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6zEKxZdibk

[stoeanp]

Tipuri de salarii in Romania

 

 

 

Salariul Ceapa: il vezi, il iei in mana si iti dau lacrimile.

 

Salariul Nenorocit: nu te ajuta la nimic, doar te face sa suferi, insa nu poti trai fara el.

 

Salariul Dietetic: te face sa mananci din ce in ce mai putin.

 

Salariul Ateu: te indoiesti de existenta lui.

 

Salariul Magic: face cateva miscari si dispare.

 

Salariul Furtuna: nu stii cand o sa apara si nici cat o sa tina.

 

Salariul Umor Negru: razi ca sa nu plangi.

 

Salariul Prezervativ: iti taie pofta.

 

Salariul Impotent: atunci cand ai mai multa nevoie te dezamageste.

 

Salariul Menstruatie: vine o data pe luna si tine 4 zile.

[Special K]