Hai să râdem!

[Simpson_]

http://9gag.com/gag/a8WyKX6

[rideordye]

During an IRS audit, the auditor looked at the tax payer and exclaimed...

... "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."

Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, and urinates all over the desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it."

[jerry_mcrie]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5sbpVerIvI

 

ce rea e friptura asta care misuna inca pe 4 labe...

[northern_freyja]

[Marc Marquez]

Cred ca e a3a oara cand se pune linkul cu "Scoala vietii"...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JS09LelJ5Io

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PRg9MrDi5c

[Dan Cata]

http://govindtiwari.blogspot.in/

[gabitzu]

[Simpson_]

[Dan Cata]

Nu inteleg care ii treaba cu omanii care isi "tatueaza" numarul de inmatriculare pe oglinzile retrovizoare la masini. Pana acu am vazut doua conserve in starea asta si ambele aveau stantat alt numar decat ala de inmatriculare.

 

Si un set de oglinzi e vro 50 de lei... Asa mare ii valoarea de tre sa iti scrii cnp-ul pe ele?

[Vizitator darcocbr]

Se graveaza nr de inmatriculare in cazul furtului. Nu poti sterge de pe ele. Daca ai vazut pe o masina oglinzi cu numere gravate diferite decat cele de inmatriculare, mai mult ca sigur aveau sticla oglinzii de pe alta masina. Erau furate.

[cicloburu]

...Erau furate.

Sau luate de la dezmembrări.

[georgem]

Da, astia cu Mercedes sunt cei mai saraci, nu-si permit sa-si cumpere oglinzi noi si prefera sa ia de la cei care vand oglinzi furate, si prin asta incurajeaza furtul de oglinzi, si de aceea cei patiti isi graveaza numarul de inmatriculare pe oglinzi.

Mie mi-a disparut de 2 ori pana acum (in 7 ani si jumatate) sticla de la oglinda exterioara stanga (nu e Mercedes). Din pacate se potriveste si la un model mult mai raspandit decat al meu... Am cumparat noua de fiecare data, pretul e din ce in ce mai mic.

[Dan Cata]

Inteleg ca ti le gravezi ca sa nu ti le fure, dar daca oricum ti le fura, de ce te-ai mai obosi sa ti le gravezi?

 

Sau poate iti vinzi masina in 1 an, ala tre sa isi ia alte oglinzi...

 

Adevarul e ca masinile cu oglinzi gravate, aveau ceva in comun; ce? ramane tema de casa

[Louis Cyphre]

Da, dar shopping oglinzi e fun!

[cicloburu]

Da, astia cu Mercedes sunt cei mai saraci, nu-si permit sa-si cumpere oglinzi noi si prefera sa ia de la cei care vand oglinzi furate, si prin asta incurajeaza furtul de oglinzi, si de aceea cei patiti isi graveaza numarul de inmatriculare pe oglinzi.

Mie mi-a disparut de 2 ori pana acum (in 7 ani si jumatate) sticla de la oglinda exterioara stanga (nu e Mercedes). Din pacate se potriveste si la un model mult mai raspandit decat al meu... Am cumparat noua de fiecare data, pretul e din ce in ce mai mic.

N-are a face cu sărăcia, numai cu zgîrcenia!

[Louis Cyphre]

Ai' sa-mi bag, astia or plecat de-acolo nebatuti?

[Skrillex]

Inteleg ca ti le gravezi ca sa nu ti le fure, dar daca oricum ti le fura, de ce te-ai mai obosi sa ti le gravezi? Sau poate iti vinzi masina in 1 an, ala tre sa isi ia alte oglinzi... Adevarul e ca masinile cu oglinzi gravate, aveau ceva in comun; ce? ramane tema de casa

 

Teoretic cand vede cioara ca-s gravate, evite sa le fure, ca-s mai greu de vandut si cu risc de vanatai daca e prins cu ele in targ.

 

Practic, stiu pe unu cu BMW in Ploiesti si i s-au furat oglinzile de 3 ori intr-un an. A IV-a oara si-a pus gravate si abia dupa 2 ani i s-au furat din nou.

[Vizitator darcocbr]

De acord Stiu cateva cazuri la fel, din pacate ..

[ramon29]

 

killer solo guitar solo @ 4:07

 

Cum ai avut frate rabdare sa te uiti pana la 4:07? ))))

[Marc Marquez]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KD60_6b4lg4

[zaelu]

GROWING UP WITHOUT A CELL PHONE by Susan Smith

 

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda

 

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

 

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

 

1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

 

2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

 

3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

 

4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

 

5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

 

6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

 

7) There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOSH !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

 

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

 

9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen.. Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

 

10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!

 

11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

 

12) And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

 

13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!

 

And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!

 

See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1970 or any time before!

 

Regards,

Susan Smith.

The Over 40 Crowd

[COObra]

[blackd1rt]

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=527249107345495&set=vb.374533695950371&type=2&theater

[Metal Heart]

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=527249107345495&set=vb.374533695950371&type=2&theater

N-are cum, frate! Am ras cu lacrimi!!!! Ce headshot-uri isi lua puradelul!!!

[elparu]

????????? wtf